$alary Increa$e

ONE DAY, an employee sent a letter to his Boss
asking for an increase in his salary.

Read on:

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==================================





Dear Bo$$,


*


In thi$ life, we all need $omething mo$t de$perately.

*

I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$, worker$ who

*

have given $o much $upport, including $weat and $ervice to your Company.


*


I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.


**




Your$ $incerely,


Norman $oh



*************

*******************************************







The very next day, the employee received a reply:



*


Dear NOrman,


*


I kNOw you have been working very hard.
NOwadays, NOthing much has changed.
You must have NOticed that our Company is NOt doing
NOticeably well as yet.


*

NOw the newspapers are saying the world's largest ecoNOmists
are not sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession.


*
After the NOvember presidential elections, things may turn out bad.


*

I have NOthing more to add NOw.
*
You kNOw what I mean.

*



Yours truly,

The Manager

*******************************

AH~LUV~STRAWBERRIES

'Tis the season to be merry!

Straberries still abound in Supermarket shelves and
in GreenHouses where people line up
to buy them by the pack....




...or...better still,
try one of those
"Eat~All~You~Can Spree".....



I did!
And I haven't moved a half-a-yard yet, and lo!
Was I full and could have no more!



****

Wanna Have Some?

Take your pick!

*Photos taken from my celfone*
********
*******
******
*****
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***
**
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IVY PLANTS FOR YOUR BUILDINGS?

OK...

GLOBAL WARMING is really upon us,

and.....would you believe?

There are hordes of people making big business out of these
IVY plants that we used to consider as just big BS garbage?

Jiji had to deliver these "bed of ivy plants"
~inserted on foams bounded by leatherette casings~
similar to the seat cushion we have at home.
They are then held back with aluminum casings,
ready to be hooked on the building wall.
Great idea, huh?

He called my attention and showed me these
and allowed me to picture his delivery goods before
he left for his destination: Osaka,
that fashion center in the western part of Honshu.

In case you're wondering...
that's the back of his old truck he calls "Mis-Tra".
********


These are to be used as wall sidings of a building
being built in the city.

Now I realize how much business people have been thinking to
lessen the impact of Global Warming that is really upon us all.

What about us?
...Yeah...you and me.....
and the rest of the world?

Are we doing enough?

**********
?????????

A~KISS IS JUST A KISS, BABY!

KISS ME, Honey!

KISS and be merry!

Cuddle up and kiss me, please!!!!

OK now....I'Ll kiss you, but you see, I'm busy!

"OK, OK! Mwaaahhh!"

FUNNY FURRY FRIENDS

Catcha!...macallitCAT!

Can't get enough?

See how they pose.....see their paws.

TAWA TAYM!=Ikalawang Yugto

************




HOLDAPER: "Pili ka, wallet mo, o pasabugin ko utak mo?"

BIKTIMA: "Bahala ka dyan.....basta pareho lang yan,
parehong walang laman!"




************




MISIS: "Ba't ngayon ka lang?"

MISTER: "Pashensya na ha? Nagyaya mga opishmeyt ko,
nagkainuman lang...hehe..hik*

MISIS: "Lasing ka, no?"

MISTER: "Akoh? Lasheng? Shinoh me shabeh? Hindi noh!"

MISIS: "Anong hindi? Wala ka namang trabaho,
pa'no ka magkaka-opismeyt? Tado!"





************




JUN-JUN: "Inay! Alam mo, ako lang ang nakasagot sa titser kanina!"

NANAY: "Very Good! Ano ba ang tanong ng titser mo ha?"

JUN-JUN: "Sino ang walang assignment?"




*************




TITSER: "Ano ang hugis ng mundo?"

JUAN: "Kuwadrado po, Ma'am!"

TITSER: "Mga bata, bilog talaga ang mundo!"

JUAN: "Pero Ma'am, sabi po ng Lolo ko, narating na niya ang
apat na sulok ng mundo.
Eh, may sulok po ba ang bilog?"


************


BOSS asks his sexy secretary to a dinner after overtime:
"Are you free tonight?"

SEXY SECRETARY replies: "Sir ha, ...h'wag naman FREE.
Bibigyan na lang kita ng discount."


************


ELISEO: "Sobra na talaga ang katangahan ng kumare mo!
Ang akala niya ang LAWSUIT eh uniporme ng pulis."

JOSHUA: "Sus! Tanga nga! Eh 'di ba uniporme ng abogado yun?"


*************


HOST: "Ano po ang maipaglilingkod namin sa inyo?"

TANDA: "Puwede po bang manawagan?"

HOST: "Bakit, ilang taon na po ba kayo?"

TANDA: " 98 years old na po."

HOST: "Wow! Ang tanda na po pala ninyo....
O sige po, manawagan na po kayo."

TANDA: "Itay! Umuwi na po kayo! Hindi na galit si Lolo sa inyo!"



************


Namatay ang isang mister na babaero.
Sa Rewuiem Mass, sabi ng PARI patungkol sa namatay:
"A family man, an honest man, a good man...."

Binulungan ng BIYUDA ang panganay na anak:
"Anak, pakisilip nga ang kabaong kung Daddy mo talaga ang nasa loob!"


************

TAWA TAYM!

::::::::::::::::::::::::::
REPORTER: "Sir, kung wala po kayong evidence o witness kaya,
ano po ang next step ninyo?"

POLICE: "DNA muna...DNA....."

REPORTER: "Sir, ano po yung DNA????"

POLICE: "Di Namin Alam."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



Mamang Una: "Away kami ni Misis. Nag-historical siya!"

Mamang Pangalawa: "Pre...baka ibig mong sabihin, nag-hysterical siya."

Mamany Una: "Hindi! Historical, kasi nga inungkat ang lahat ng mga

kasalanan ko!"



::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



EMPLOYEE: "Boss, pede po bang ako na lang ang papalit dun sa Manager
na kamamatay lang?"

BOSS: "Sa akin, OK lang, ewan ko lang kung papayag ang punerarya."



::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



BOBO 1: "Pare, alam mo ba ang tawag sa paniking mababa ang lipad?"

BOBO 2: "Hindi eh. Ano nga ba?"

BOBO 1: "Lowbat, pare.....LOWBAT!"


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



BOY: "Nay! Muntik na akong maging TOP ONE sa klase!"

NANAY: "Ows! Ba't mo naman nasabi yan?"

BOY: "Ini-announce kasi kanina sa klase ang TOP ONE.
Ang tinuro ni Ma'am, yung katabi ko.
Tsk! Muntik na ako!"


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



BONGBONG: "Pare, sino idol mo?"

CHAVIT: "Si Arnold Schwarzenegger."

BONGBONG: "Sige nga, spell Schwarzenegger....."

CHAVIT: "Hindi, joke lang, pare.....
Si Jet Li talaga ang idol ko!"



:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



ERAP writing on a slum book:

FAVORITE ACTOR:

Arnold Schwarze......[erase....]
Arnold Schwarzene......[erase]
Arnold Schwarzenee....[erase]
Arnold Schwazenne.....[erase]
Arnold Schwarzenee....[erase]
Arnold Schwazeenne...[erase]


.........
Arnold Clavio!

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Chinese Horoscope*

This year is the Year of the Iron Dragon,
{so they say...}

and here's wishing you
~albeit too late my dears~

Prosperity and Good Fortune in the Days To Come.

Here's one to change the nasty feeling that has been with us
in the past months of "tongpats" and 'bukols'
courtesy of the Greedy Group Plus Plus.

*****

Whatever you do...never, never cheat!
{Doncha ever follow the Resident Evil's example, will ya?}

Again, never cheat
OR this thing won't work, OK?

This'll take only three minutes
and the result will freak you out, babe!

***********
And here's the good thing:
"Your wish will come true....after a while..."
~ that's what the sender said to me!~

Don't read ahead.
Just follow each step as it comes by....




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• First get a paper and a pen[cil].
• When writing NAMES, be sure they are actually people you know.
• Go with your FIRST INSTINCTS. Quite important for best results.
• Scroll down one at a time, otherwise you will ruin the fun!

Ready? Get set....GO!


**************************

1.
On a blank sheet of paper, write numbers
1~through 11 in a column on the left.













2.
Beside numbers 1& 2 ,
write down any 2 numbers you like.
{Do you have a favorite number?}











3.
Beside numbers 3 & 7
write down the names
of two members of the opposite sex.





Caution:
Do not look ahead OR it will not turn out right!








4.
Write anyone's names
~like friends or family~
next to numbers
4, 5, & 6









Do not cheat....
or you'll be upset that you did!






5.
Write down four song titles
in numbers
8, 9, 10 & 11













6. Finally.....

Make a Wish!







OK now....
Are You Ready?

Here is the
KEY to the Game:






1. The number of people you must tell about this game
is found in Space 2.




2.The person is Space 3 is the one you love.




3. The person you like but
your relationship cannot work
is in Space 7.



4. You care most about the person
you put in Space 4.



5.The person you name in Space 5
is the one who knows you very well.





6. The person you named in Space 6 is
your lucky star.




7. The song in 8 is the song that matches
with the person in Space 3.




8. The title in 9 is the song for
Person in 7.




9. The 10th Space is the song
that tells you most about your mind.





10. And 11 is the Song telling you how you feel about LIFE.






11. Number 1 is your LUCKY NUMBER!




*********************


*Wanna send this to anyone you know?
Why not?

Could make them happy and surprised....

just like what it did to you and me!

********

SOMETIMES

SOMETIMES......

We must be hurt, in order to grow;

We must fail, in order to know.

We must lose in order to gain....

Some lessons are learned best only through pain.

****


SOMETIMES......

Our vision clears only after our eyes are washed with tears;

We have to be broken, so we can be tender;

We are sick so we can rest and think better
~on things more important than work or fun~

We are taken for trip near death, so we can assess how we've run.

****

SOMETIMES......

We have to suffer lack, so we can appreciate God's provision;

We have to feel another's pain, so we can have a sense of mission.

So take heart, if you don't understand today....

Instead of grumbling, ask God what He means to say.

****


IN ORDER

to learn, you must endure

and try to see the bigger picture....

In order to grow, you must stand and look beyond the hurt.

Trust in God's loving hand that takes what is good,

and gives what is best for all.

****


AND

on this blessed thought,

rest your anxious heart with all the questions....

God's hand only gives what His loving heart dictates.



****

SOMETIMES......

The Lord calms the storm.



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SOMETIMES,

He lets the storm rage......

.....and calms His child.

****

BETTER


go through the storm with Him.......

......

Than smooth waters without Him.

******

RING FINGERs and their never-ending story

Ever wondered
why people wear their wedding bands on the left ring finger?

Wll, the Chinese believed that there is an explanation....and here is why.

Read On....

*****
The THUMB represents your/one's Parents.
The second~INDEX~finger represents your/one's Siblings.
The tall~MIDDLE~finger represents your/one-Self.
The fourth~RING~finger represents you/one's Life Partner.
The last~LITTLE~finger represents your/one's Children.

*****
NOW, here's the trick to know.....

*
First, open your palms, --face-to-face--
then slowly bend the middle fingers,
and hold them together back-to-back.

*
Then, open and hold the three remaining fingers
and thumb~tip-to-tip~
(as shown in the picture).
*
Now....
Try to separate your Thumbs (representing your Parents).
They will open because our Parents are not destined to be with us
our whole life long....
and have to leave us, sooner or later.
*
Now join your Thumbs as before
and try to separate your INDEX fingers
(representing Siblings).
They, too, will open, because your siblings
will eventually marry and have their own families,
and of course, lead their own lives.
*
NOW, join your Index fingers and
try and separate your Little fingers
(representing your Children)
They, too, will open because the Children will
eventually marry and leave the Nest someday.
*
Finally, join your Little Fingers and try this time,
to separate your Ring Fingers....
(representing your Spouse/Partner).
You will be surprised to see that
you just CANNOT do so!
......>>>>>>>
because Husband-and Wife were made to
be together~through thick and thin~
all the days of their lives!
*
Lastly,

I read somewhere that the veins on the LEFT ring finger
is directly connected to one's heart,
hence the choice of people long ago
to wear their wedding rings
on the left, becoz it's nearest the heart!
Romantic, isn't it?

*
But then,......
maybe, when I get married, I'd opt
to wear mine on my THUMB!
Both thumbs, if you please!

*