Wednesday, October 15, 2008

EUROPEAN ENGLISH



The European Commission has
announced an agreement whereby
English will be used
as the official language of the
European Union, rather than German,
which was the other possibility.


As part of the negotiations,
the British government conceded that
English spelling had some room for
improvement, and has accepted a
five-year phase-in plan
that would later be known as
Euro-English.


In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'.
Sertainly, this will make the
sivil servants jump with joy.


The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'.
This would klear up konfusion and keyboards kan
have one less letter.


There will be growing publik enthusiasm
in the sekond year when the
troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f' .
This will make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter.



In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling
kan be expekted to reach where more komplikated
changes are possible.


Governments will enkourage the removal of
double letters which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling.



Also, al wil agre
that the horibl mes of that silent 'e'
in the languag is disgrasful
and it should go away.



By the 4th yer,
peopl wil be reseptiv to steps
such as replasing 'th' with 'z'
and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer,
ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd
from vords kontaining 'ou'
....and after ziz fifz yer,
ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.


Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis
and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.


Und efter ze fifz yer,
ve vil al be speking German
like zey vunt ed in ze fors plast.

******



Tuesday, September 23, 2008

`Tis Autumn, My Dear!


*

summer ends....
weather changing;
swift breeze a breakin`
`tis autumn, my dear!

*

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Morning


*
morning comes--
sunshine creeps
clouds hover--


Monday, July 28, 2008

Bored? Try this!







U R...?

or

R U...?




Life is hard....
*
AFTERLIFE is even harder!


*





Ah just luv the next one

:
:
\/
*


This is what I feel about all these things:
X .............O
Not just Love & Kisses, Kid....
Go on and find out....

********
Now try and place the mouse on the X below and drag it through O....and see what this is all about, Baby!

X *Even if we don't see God physically,

HE IS ALWAYS WITH US!*
O


Have you tried reading the Bible, Brother/Sister?




God Bless, Everyone!








Thursday, July 24, 2008

God's Amazing Pharmacy

********

It's been said that GOD first

separated the salt water from the fresh,

made dry land, planted a garden,

made animals and fish......

all before making humankind.

HE made and provided what we need long before we were born.

We are such slow learners.....

GOD left us a great clue

as to what food helps what part of our body!

God's Amazing Pharmacy!

Amazing!




A sliced carrot looks like the human EYE.

The pupil, the iris, the radiating lines

looks just like the human eye!

........And YES!

Science now shows that CARROTS greatly enhance

blood flow to and function of the eyes.





A TOMATO has four chambers and is red.

The HEART has four chambers and is red!

Research shows Tomatoes are loaded with Lycopine

and are indeed pure heart and blood food.



GRAPES hang in cluster and has the shape of the HEART.

Each grape looks like a blood cell,

and now research shows that grapes

are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.



A WALNUT looks like a little BRAIN,

a left and right hemisphere,

upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums.

Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex.

We now know that Walnuts help develop more than

three dozen neuro-transmitters for brain function.


Kidney BEANS actually help maintain kidney function,

......and yes, they actually look just like the human KIDNEYs.



CELERY, Bok Choy and Rhubarb and many more looks just like BONES.

These food specifically target bone strength.

Bones are 23% sodium and these food are exactly like that: 23% sodium!

If you don't have enough sodium in your diet, The body pulls it from the bones,

thus making them weak. These food replenish the skeletal needs of the body.


AVOCADOes, EGGPLANTs and PEARs

target the health and function of the WOMB and CERVIX of the female:

they look just like these organs! Today's research shows that if a woman eats

one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight,

and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this?

It takes exactly nine {9} months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit.

There are over 14,000 photolytic hemical constituents of nutrition in each one

of these food {modern science has only studied and named 141 of them}.





FIGs are full of seeds and hang in two when they grow.

Figs increase the mobility of male SPERM and

increase the numbers of sperm and overcomes male sterility.


SWEET POTATOes look like the PANCREAS

and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetes.


OLIVEs assist the health and function of the OVARIES.


ORANGES, GRAPEFRUITS, and other CITRUS fruits

look just like the MAMMARY GLANDS of the female

and actually assist the health of the breasts

and the movement of the lymph in and out of the breasts.



ONIONs look like the BODY's CELLs.

Today's research shows that onions help clear waste materials from

all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes.

A working companion, the GARLIC.....also helps eliminate waste materials and

dangerous free radicals from the body.


*********************



















Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Boys, be ambitious!






"Boys, be ambitious.

Be ambitious, not for money or for self-aggrandizement,

not for that evanescent thing which man call fame.


Be ambitious for that attainment of all

that a man ought to be."

********
-William Smith Clark
{1826-1886}
The above is the statue of Clark in
Sapporo,Japan

where he taught and served as
the College's first VP.


********

Friday, June 6, 2008

The Shepherd And The Nymph

I remember in HS where a classmate and I competed in some school contests and we delivered poems by great classic poets of old. Here's some lines my partner and I recited from memory. I wonder where in the world has my partner gone? Those were the days....Oh-lah-lah!




The Passionate Shepherd To His Love
{Christopher Marlowe}
The Nymph's Reply to the Shepherd
{Sir Walter Raleigh}
*********

  • Come, live with me and be my love
  • And we will all the pleasures prove
  • That valleys, groves, hills and fields
  • Woods, or steepy mountain yields.
*
  • If all the world and love were young,
  • And truth in every shepherd's tongue,
  • These pretty pleasures might me move
  • To live with thee and be thy love.
*
*
*
  • And we will sit upon the rocks,
  • Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks,
  • By shallow rivers, to whose falls,
  • Melodious birds sing madrigals.
*
  • Time drives the flocks from field to fold,
  • When rivers rage and rocks grow cold,
  • And Philomel becometh dumb,
  • The rest complains of cares to come.
*
*
*
  • And I will make thee beds of roses
  • And a thousand fragrant posies,
  • A cap of flowers and a kirtle,
  • Embroider'd all with leaves of myrtle.
*
  • The flowers do fade, and wanton fields
  • To wayward winter reckoning yields;
  • A honey tongue, a heart of gall,
  • Is fancy's spring, but sorrow's fall.
*
*
*

  • A gown made of the finest wool,
  • Which from our pretty lambs we pull;
  • Fair-lined slippers for the cold,
  • With buckles of the purest gold.
*
  • Thy gowns, thy shoes, thy beds of roses,
  • Thy cap, thy kirtle and thy posies,
  • Soon break, soon wither, soon forgotten--
  • In folly ripe, in reason rotten.
*
*
*


  • A belt of straw and ivy buds,
  • With coral clasps and amber studs,
  • And if these pleasures made thee move,
  • Come live with me and be my love.
*
  • Thy belt of straw and ivy buds,
  • Thy coral clasps, thy amber studs,
  • All these in me, no means can move,
  • To come to thee and be thy love.
*
*
*
  • The shepherd swains shall dance and sing,
  • For thy delight each May morning;
  • If these delights thy mind may move,
  • Then live with me and be my love.
*
  • But could youth last and love still breed,
  • Had joys no date, nor age no need
  • Then these delights my mind might move
  • To live with thee and be thy love.
*
*
*
*********************************************









Sunday, June 1, 2008

Endless Ways To Say I Love You!!!!



  1. Americans: I love you!
  2. Afrikaans: Ek is lief vir jouf!
  3. Albanian: Te dua!
  4. Amharic: Afekrishalehou!
  5. Arabic: Oshiboke {boy to girl}/ Noshiboka {girl to boy}
  6. Armenian: Yes kez si`rumem
  7. Basque: Maite zaitut!
  8. Bengali: Ami tomake bahlobashi!
  9. Bosnian: Volim te!
  10. Bulgarian: Obicham te!
  11. Catalan: T`estimo!
  12. Creole: Mi aime jou!
  13. Croatian: Volim te!
  14. Czech: Miluji tev!
  15. Danish: Jeg elsker dig!
  16. Dutch: Ik hou van je!
  17. English: I love You!
  18. Esperanto: Mi amas vin!
  19. Estonian: Mina armastan sind!
  20. Farsi: Tora dost daram!
  21. Filipino: Iniibig Kita!
  22. Finnish: (Ma) Rakastan sua!
  23. French: Je t`aime!
  24. Frisian: Ik hald fan dei!
  25. Galician: Querote!
  26. German: Ich liebe dich!
  27. Greek: S`ayapo!
  28. Gujarati: Hoon tane pyar karoochhoon! tane chaahuN chhuN!
  29. Hawaiian: Aloha wau ia 'oe!
  30. Hebrew: Anee ohev otakh {boy-to-girl}// Anee ohevet otkha! {girl-to-boy}
  31. Hindi: Main tumase pyar karta hun {b>g}//Main tumase pyar karti hun{g>b}
  32. Hungarian: Szeretlek!
  33. Icelandic: Eg elska thig!
  34. Indonesian: Saya cinta padamu!
  35. Irish: T'a gr'a agam dhuit!
  36. Italian: Ti amo!
  37. Japanese: {Kimi o] Aishiteiru!
  38. Korean: {Dangsinul] Saranghee yo!
  39. Latin: Te amo!
  40. Latvian: Es tevi milu!
  41. Lithuanian: As tave myliu!
  42. Malaysian: Saya cintamu!
  43. Mandarin: Wo ai ni!
  44. Marshallese: Yokwe Yuk!
  45. Norwegian: Jeg elsker deg!
  46. Polish: Kocham ciebie!
  47. Portuguese: Eu te amo!
  48. Romanian: Te iubesc!
  49. Russian: Ya tyebya lyublyu!
  50. Sanskrit: Twayi snihyaami!
  51. Serbian : Volim te!
  52. Sesotho: Kiyahurata!
  53. Slovak: Lubim ta!
  54. Slovenian: Ljubim te!
  55. Spanish: Te amo!
  56. Swahili: Nakupenda!
  57. Swedish: Jag alskar dig!
  58. Tagalog: Mahal Kita!
  59. Thai: Phnom rug khun! {b>g}//Chan rug khun {g>b}
  60. Turkish: Seni seviyorum!
  61. Ukranian: Ya tebe kokhayu!
  62. Urdu: Main tumse muhabbat karta hoon!{b>g}/Main tumse mohabbat karti hoon{g>b}
  63. Vietnamese: Anh yeu em {b-to>g}// Em yeu anh {g-to-b]
  64. Welsh: Rwy'n dy garu di!
  65. Zulu: Ngiyakuthanda!


No matter how we say it, the meaning remains the same! I LOVE YOU!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

$alary Increa$e


ONE DAY, an employee sent a letter to his Boss
asking for an increase in his salary.


Read on:

*
==================================





Dear Bo$$,


*


In thi$ life, we all need $omething mo$t de$perately.

*

I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$, worker$ who

*

have given $o much $upport, including $weat and $ervice to your Company.


*


I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.


**




Your$ $incerely,


Norman $oh



*************

*******************************************







The very next day, the employee received a reply:



*


Dear NOrman,


*


I kNOw you have been working very hard.
NOwadays, NOthing much has changed.
You must have NOticed that our Company is NOt doing
NOticeably well as yet.


*

NOw the newspapers are saying the world's largest ecoNOmists
are not sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession.


*
After the NOvember presidential elections, things may turn out bad.


*

I have NOthing more to add NOw.
*
You kNOw what I mean.

*



Yours truly,

The Manager

*******************************

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

AH~LUV~STRAWBERRIES

'Tis the season to be merry!

Straberries still abound in Supermarket shelves and
in GreenHouses where people line up
to buy them by the pack....




...or...better still,
try one of those
"Eat~All~You~Can Spree".....



I did!
And I haven't moved a half-a-yard yet, and lo!
Was I full and could have no more!



****

Wanna Have Some?

Take your pick!



*Photos taken from my celfone*
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