HEART STATION

EUROPEAN ENGLISH

2008-10-15T00:44:00.000-07:00

The European Commission has
announced an agreement whereby
English will be used
as the official language of the
European Union, rather than German,
which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations,
the British government conceded that
English spelling had some room for
improvement, and has accepted a
five-year phase-in plan
that would later be known as
Euro-English.

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'.
Sertainly, this will make the
sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'.
This would klear up konfusion and keyboards kan
have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm
in the sekond year when the
troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f' .
This will make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling
kan be expekted to reach where more komplikated
changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of
double letters which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre
that the horibl mes of that silent 'e'
in the languag is disgrasful
and it should go away.

By the 4th yer,
peopl wil be reseptiv to steps
such as replasing 'th' with 'z'
and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer,
ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd
from vords kontaining 'ou'
....and after ziz fifz yer,
ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis
and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer,
ve vil al be speking German
like zey vunt ed in ze fors plast.

******

`Tis Autumn, My Dear!

2008-09-23T16:43:00.000-07:00

*

summer ends....
weather changing;
swift breeze a breakin`
`tis autumn, my dear!

*

Morning

2008-09-18T17:28:00.000-07:00

*
morning comes--
sunshine creeps
clouds hover--

Bored? Try this!

2008-07-28T15:50:00.000-07:00

U R...?

or

R U...?

Life is hard....
*
AFTERLIFE is even harder!

*

Ah just luv the next one

:
:
\/
*

This is what I feel about all these things:
X .............O
Not just Love & Kisses, Kid....
Go on and find out....

********
Now try and place the mouse on the X below and drag it through O....and see what this is all about, Baby!

X *Even if we don't see God physically,

HE IS ALWAYS WITH US!*O

Have you tried reading the Bible, Brother/Sister?

God Bless, Everyone!

God's Amazing Pharmacy

2008-07-24T15:02:00.000-07:00

********

It's been said that GOD first

separated the salt water from the fresh,

made dry land, planted a garden,

made animals and fish......

all before making humankind.

HE made and provided what we need long before we were born.

We are such slow learners.....

GOD left us a great clue

as to what food helps what part of our body!

God's Amazing Pharmacy!

Amazing!

A sliced carrot looks like the human EYE.

The pupil, the iris, the radiating lines

looks just like the human eye!

........And YES!

Science now shows that CARROTS greatly enhance

blood flow to and function of the eyes.

A TOMATO has four chambers and is red.

The HEART has four chambers and is red!

Research shows Tomatoes are loaded with Lycopine

and are indeed pure heart and blood food.

GRAPES hang in cluster and has the shape of the HEART.

Each grape looks like a blood cell,

and now research shows that grapes

are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.

A WALNUT looks like a little BRAIN,

a left and right hemisphere,

upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums.

Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex.

We now know that Walnuts help develop more than

three dozen neuro-transmitters for brain function.

Kidney BEANS actually help maintain kidney function,

......and yes, they actually look just like the human KIDNEYs.

CELERY, Bok Choy and Rhubarb and many more looks just like BONES.

These food specifically target bone strength.

Bones are 23% sodium and these food are exactly like that: 23% sodium!

If you don't have enough sodium in your diet, The body pulls it from the bones,

thus making them weak. These food replenish the skeletal needs of the body.

AVOCADOes, EGGPLANTs and PEARs

target the health and function of the WOMB and CERVIX of the female:

they look just like these organs! Today's research shows that if a woman eats

one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight,

and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this?

It takes exactly nine {9} months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit.

There are over 14,000 photolytic hemical constituents of nutrition in each one

of these food {modern science has only studied and named 141 of them}.

FIGs are full of seeds and hang in two when they grow.

Figs increase the mobility of male SPERM and

increase the numbers of sperm and overcomes male sterility.

SWEET POTATOes look like the PANCREAS

and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetes.

OLIVEs assist the health and function of the OVARIES.

ORANGES, GRAPEFRUITS, and other CITRUS fruits

look just like the MAMMARY GLANDS of the female

and actually assist the health of the breasts

and the movement of the lymph in and out of the breasts.

ONIONs look like the BODY's CELLs.

Today's research shows that onions help clear waste materials from

all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes.

A working companion, the GARLIC.....also helps eliminate waste materials and

dangerous free radicals from the body.

*********************

Boys, be ambitious!

2008-07-09T19:22:00.000-07:00

"Boys, be ambitious.

Be ambitious, not for money or for self-aggrandizement,

not for that evanescent thing which man call fame.

Be ambitious for that attainment of all

that a man ought to be."

********
-William Smith Clark
{1826-1886}
The above is the statue of Clark in
Sapporo,Japan
where he taught and served as
the College's first VP.

********

The Shepherd And The Nymph

2008-06-06T03:32:00.000-07:00

I remember in HS where a classmate and I competed in some school contests and we delivered poems by great classic poets of old. Here's some lines my partner and I recited from memory. I wonder where in the world has my partner gone? Those were the days....Oh-lah-lah!

The Passionate Shepherd To His Love
{Christopher Marlowe}
The Nymph's Reply to the Shepherd
{Sir Walter Raleigh}
*********

Come, live with me and be my love

And we will all the pleasures prove

That valleys, groves, hills and fields

Woods, or steepy mountain yields.

If all the world and love were young,

And truth in every shepherd's tongue,

These pretty pleasures might me move

To live with thee and be thy love.

*
*
*

And we will sit upon the rocks,

Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks,

By shallow rivers, to whose falls,

Melodious birds sing madrigals.

Time drives the flocks from field to fold,

When rivers rage and rocks grow cold,

And Philomel becometh dumb,

The rest complains of cares to come.

*
*
*

And I will make thee beds of roses

And a thousand fragrant posies,

A cap of flowers and a kirtle,

Embroider'd all with leaves of myrtle.

The flowers do fade, and wanton fields

To wayward winter reckoning yields;

A honey tongue, a heart of gall,

Is fancy's spring, but sorrow's fall.

*
*
*

A gown made of the finest wool,

Which from our pretty lambs we pull;

Fair-lined slippers for the cold,

With buckles of the purest gold.

Thy gowns, thy shoes, thy beds of roses,

Thy cap, thy kirtle and thy posies,

Soon break, soon wither, soon forgotten--

In folly ripe, in reason rotten.

*
*
*

A belt of straw and ivy buds,

With coral clasps and amber studs,

And if these pleasures made thee move,

Come live with me and be my love.

Thy belt of straw and ivy buds,

Thy coral clasps, thy amber studs,

All these in me, no means can move,

To come to thee and be thy love.

*
*
*

The shepherd swains shall dance and sing,

For thy delight each May morning;

If these delights thy mind may move,

Then live with me and be my love.

But could youth last and love still breed,

Had joys no date, nor age no need

Then these delights my mind might move

To live with thee and be thy love.

*
*
*
*********************************************

Endless Ways To Say I Love You!!!!

2008-06-01T02:34:00.000-07:00

Americans: I love you!
Afrikaans: Ek is lief vir jouf!
Albanian: Te dua!
Amharic: Afekrishalehou!
Arabic: Oshiboke {boy to girl}/ Noshiboka {girl to boy}
Armenian: Yes kez si`rumem
Basque: Maite zaitut!
Bengali: Ami tomake bahlobashi!
Bosnian: Volim te!
Bulgarian: Obicham te!
Catalan: T`estimo!
Creole: Mi aime jou!
Croatian: Volim te!
Czech: Miluji tev!
Danish: Jeg elsker dig!
Dutch: Ik hou van je!
English: I love You!
Esperanto: Mi amas vin!
Estonian: Mina armastan sind!
Farsi: Tora dost daram!
Filipino: Iniibig Kita!
Finnish: (Ma) Rakastan sua!
French: Je t`aime!
Frisian: Ik hald fan dei!
Galician: Querote!
German: Ich liebe dich!
Greek: S`ayapo!
Gujarati: Hoon tane pyar karoochhoon! tane chaahuN chhuN!
Hawaiian: Aloha wau ia 'oe!
Hebrew: Anee ohev otakh {boy-to-girl}// Anee ohevet otkha! {girl-to-boy}
Hindi: Main tumase pyar karta hun {b>g}//Main tumase pyar karti hun{g>b}
Hungarian: Szeretlek!
Icelandic: Eg elska thig!
Indonesian: Saya cinta padamu!
Irish: T'a gr'a agam dhuit!
Italian: Ti amo!
Japanese: {Kimi o] Aishiteiru!
Korean: {Dangsinul] Saranghee yo!
Latin: Te amo!
Latvian: Es tevi milu!
Lithuanian: As tave myliu!
Malaysian: Saya cintamu!
Mandarin: Wo ai ni!
Marshallese: Yokwe Yuk!
Norwegian: Jeg elsker deg!
Polish: Kocham ciebie!
Portuguese: Eu te amo!
Romanian: Te iubesc!
Russian: Ya tyebya lyublyu!
Sanskrit: Twayi snihyaami!
Serbian : Volim te!
Sesotho: Kiyahurata!
Slovak: Lubim ta!
Slovenian: Ljubim te!
Spanish: Te amo!
Swahili: Nakupenda!
Swedish: Jag alskar dig!
Tagalog: Mahal Kita!
Thai: Phnom rug khun! {b>g}//Chan rug khun {g>b}
Turkish: Seni seviyorum!
Ukranian: Ya tebe kokhayu!
Urdu: Main tumse muhabbat karta hoon!{b>g}/Main tumse mohabbat karti hoon{g>b}
Vietnamese: Anh yeu em {b-to>g}// Em yeu anh {g-to-b]
Welsh: Rwy'n dy garu di!
Zulu: Ngiyakuthanda!

No matter how we say it, the meaning remains the same! I LOVE YOU!

$alary Increa$e

2008-05-27T21:56:00.000-07:00

ONE DAY, an employee sent a letter to his Boss
asking for an increase in his salary.

Read on:

*
==================================

Dear Bo$$,

*

In thi$ life, we all need $omething mo$t de$perately.

*

I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$, worker$ who

*

have given $o much $upport, including $weat and $ervice to your Company.

*

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

**

Your$ $incerely,

Norman $oh

*************

*******************************************

The very next day, the employee received a reply:

*

Dear NOrman,

*

I kNOw you have been working very hard.
NOwadays, NOthing much has changed.
You must have NOticed that our Company is NOt doing
NOticeably well as yet.

*

NOw the newspapers are saying the world's largest ecoNOmists
are not sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession.

*
After the NOvember presidential elections, things may turn out bad.

*

I have NOthing more to add NOw.
*
You kNOw what I mean.

*

Yours truly,

The Manager

*******************************

AH~LUV~STRAWBERRIES

2008-04-23T00:36:00.000-07:00

'Tis the season to be merry!

Straberries still abound in Supermarket shelves and
in GreenHouses where people line up
to buy them by the pack....

...or...better still,
try one of those
"Eat~All~You~Can Spree".....

I did!
And I haven't moved a half-a-yard yet, and lo!
Was I full and could have no more!

****

Wanna Have Some?

Take your pick!

*Photos taken from my celfone*
********
*******
******
*****
****
***
**
*

IVY PLANTS FOR YOUR BUILDINGS?

2008-04-15T00:45:00.000-07:00

OK...

GLOBAL WARMING is really upon us,

and.....would you believe?

There are hordes of people making big business out of these
IVY plants that we used to consider as just big BS garbage?

Jiji had to deliver these "bed of ivy plants"
~inserted on foams bounded by leatherette casings~
similar to the seat cushion we have at home.
They are then held back with aluminum casings,
ready to be hooked on the building wall.
Great idea, huh?

He called my attention and showed me these
and allowed me to picture his delivery goods before
he left for his destination: Osaka,
that fashion center in the western part of Honshu.

In case you're wondering...
that's the back of his old truck he calls "Mis-Tra".
********

These are to be used as wall sidings of a building
being built in the city.

Now I realize how much business people have been thinking to
lessen the impact of Global Warming that is really upon us all.

What about us?
...Yeah...you and me.....
and the rest of the world?

Are we doing enough?

**********
?????????

A~KISS IS JUST A KISS, BABY!

2008-04-11T02:52:00.001-07:00

KISS ME, Honey!

KISS and be merry!

Cuddle up and kiss me, please!!!!

OK now....I'Ll kiss you, but you see, I'm busy!

"OK, OK! Mwaaahhh!"

FUNNY FURRY FRIENDS

2008-04-11T02:40:00.001-07:00

Catcha!...macallitCAT!

Can't get enough?

See how they pose.....see their paws.

TAWA TAYM!=Ikalawang Yugto

2008-04-11T02:02:00.000-07:00

************

HOLDAPER: "Pili ka, wallet mo, o pasabugin ko utak mo?"

BIKTIMA: "Bahala ka dyan.....basta pareho lang yan,
parehong walang laman!"

************

MISIS: "Ba't ngayon ka lang?"

MISTER: "Pashensya na ha? Nagyaya mga opishmeyt ko,
nagkainuman lang...hehe..hik*

MISIS: "Lasing ka, no?"

MISTER: "Akoh? Lasheng? Shinoh me shabeh? Hindi noh!"

MISIS: "Anong hindi? Wala ka namang trabaho,
pa'no ka magkaka-opismeyt? Tado!"

************

JUN-JUN: "Inay! Alam mo, ako lang ang nakasagot sa titser kanina!"

NANAY: "Very Good! Ano ba ang tanong ng titser mo ha?"

JUN-JUN: "Sino ang walang assignment?"

*************

TITSER: "Ano ang hugis ng mundo?"

JUAN: "Kuwadrado po, Ma'am!"

TITSER: "Mga bata, bilog talaga ang mundo!"

JUAN: "Pero Ma'am, sabi po ng Lolo ko, narating na niya ang
apat na sulok ng mundo.
Eh, may sulok po ba ang bilog?"

************

BOSS asks his sexy secretary to a dinner after overtime:
"Are you free tonight?"

SEXY SECRETARY replies: "Sir ha, ...h'wag naman FREE.
Bibigyan na lang kita ng discount."

************

ELISEO: "Sobra na talaga ang katangahan ng kumare mo!
Ang akala niya ang LAWSUIT eh uniporme ng pulis."

JOSHUA: "Sus! Tanga nga! Eh 'di ba uniporme ng abogado yun?"

*************

HOST: "Ano po ang maipaglilingkod namin sa inyo?"

TANDA: "Puwede po bang manawagan?"

HOST: "Bakit, ilang taon na po ba kayo?"

TANDA: " 98 years old na po."

HOST: "Wow! Ang tanda na po pala ninyo....
O sige po, manawagan na po kayo."

TANDA: "Itay! Umuwi na po kayo! Hindi na galit si Lolo sa inyo!"

************

Namatay ang isang mister na babaero.
Sa Rewuiem Mass, sabi ng PARI patungkol sa namatay:
"A family man, an honest man, a good man...."

Binulungan ng BIYUDA ang panganay na anak:
"Anak, pakisilip nga ang kabaong kung Daddy mo talaga ang nasa loob!"

************

TAWA TAYM!

2008-04-07T03:15:00.000-07:00

::::::::::::::::::::::::::
REPORTER: "Sir, kung wala po kayong evidence o witness kaya,
ano po ang next step ninyo?"

POLICE: "DNA muna...DNA....."

REPORTER: "Sir, ano po yung DNA????"

POLICE: "Di Namin Alam."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Mamang Una: "Away kami ni Misis. Nag-historical siya!"

Mamang Pangalawa: "Pre...baka ibig mong sabihin, nag-hysterical siya."

Mamany Una: "Hindi! Historical, kasi nga inungkat ang lahat ng mga

kasalanan ko!"

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

EMPLOYEE: "Boss, pede po bang ako na lang ang papalit dun sa Manager
na kamamatay lang?"

BOSS: "Sa akin, OK lang, ewan ko lang kung papayag ang punerarya."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

BOBO 1: "Pare, alam mo ba ang tawag sa paniking mababa ang lipad?"

BOBO 2: "Hindi eh. Ano nga ba?"

BOBO 1: "Lowbat, pare.....LOWBAT!"

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

BOY: "Nay! Muntik na akong maging TOP ONE sa klase!"

NANAY: "Ows! Ba't mo naman nasabi yan?"

BOY: "Ini-announce kasi kanina sa klase ang TOP ONE.
Ang tinuro ni Ma'am, yung katabi ko.
Tsk! Muntik na ako!"

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

BONGBONG: "Pare, sino idol mo?"

CHAVIT: "Si Arnold Schwarzenegger."

BONGBONG: "Sige nga, spell Schwarzenegger....."

CHAVIT: "Hindi, joke lang, pare.....
Si Jet Li talaga ang idol ko!"

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

ERAP writing on a slum book:

FAVORITE ACTOR:

Arnold Schwarze......[erase....]
Arnold Schwarzene......[erase]
Arnold Schwarzenee....[erase]
Arnold Schwazenne.....[erase]
Arnold Schwarzenee....[erase]
Arnold Schwazeenne...[erase]

.........
Arnold Clavio!

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Chinese Horoscope*

2008-04-07T02:25:00.000-07:00

This year is the Year of the Iron Dragon,
{so they say...}

and here's wishing you
~albeit too late my dears~

Prosperity and Good Fortune in the Days To Come.

Here's one to change the nasty feeling that has been with us
in the past months of "tongpats" and 'bukols'
courtesy of the Greedy Group Plus Plus.

*****

Whatever you do...never, never cheat!
{Doncha ever follow the Resident Evil's example, will ya?}

Again, never cheat
OR this thing won't work, OK?

This'll take only three minutes
and the result will freak you out, babe!

***********
And here's the good thing:
"Your wish will come true....after a while..."
~ that's what the sender said to me!~

Don't read ahead.
Just follow each step as it comes by....

********************************************

First get a paper and a pen[cil].
When writing NAMES, be sure they are actually people you know.
Go with your FIRST INSTINCTS. Quite important for best results.
Scroll down one at a time, otherwise you will ruin the fun!

Ready? Get set....GO!

**************************

1.
On a blank sheet of paper, write numbers
1~through 11 in a column on the left.

2.
Beside numbers 1& 2 ,
write down any 2 numbers you like.
{Do you have a favorite number?}

3.
Beside numbers 3 & 7
write down the names
of two members of the opposite sex.

Caution:
Do not look ahead OR it will not turn out right!

4.
Write anyone's names
~like friends or family~
next to numbers
4, 5, & 6

Do not cheat....
or you'll be upset that you did!

5.
Write down four song titles
in numbers
8, 9, 10 & 11

6. Finally.....

Make a Wish!

OK now....
Are You Ready?

Here is the
KEY to the Game:

1. The number of people you must tell about this game
is found in Space 2.

2.The person is Space 3 is the one you love.

3. The person you like but
your relationship cannot work
is in Space 7.

4. You care most about the person
you put in Space 4.

5.The person you name in Space 5
is the one who knows you very well.

6. The person you named in Space 6 is
your lucky star.

7. The song in 8 is the song that matches
with the person in Space 3.

8. The title in 9 is the song for
Person in 7.

9. The 10th Space is the song
that tells you most about your mind.

10. And 11 is the Song telling you how you feel about LIFE.

11. Number 1 is your LUCKY NUMBER!

*********************

*Wanna send this to anyone you know?
Why not?

Could make them happy and surprised....

just like what it did to you and me!

********

SOMETIMES

2007-08-03T04:51:00.000-07:00

SOMETIMES......

We must be hurt, in order to grow;

We must fail, in order to know.

We must lose in order to gain....

Some lessons are learned best only through pain.

****

SOMETIMES......

Our vision clears only after our eyes are washed with tears;

We have to be broken, so we can be tender;

We are sick so we can rest and think better
~on things more important than work or fun~

We are taken for trip near death, so we can assess how we've run.

****

SOMETIMES......

We have to suffer lack, so we can appreciate God's provision;

We have to feel another's pain, so we can have a sense of mission.

So take heart, if you don't understand today....

Instead of grumbling, ask God what He means to say.

****

IN ORDER

to learn, you must endure

and try to see the bigger picture....

In order to grow, you must stand and look beyond the hurt.

Trust in God's loving hand that takes what is good,

and gives what is best for all.

****

AND

on this blessed thought,

rest your anxious heart with all the questions....

God's hand only gives what His loving heart dictates.

****

SOMETIMES......

The Lord calms the storm.

****

SOMETIMES,

He lets the storm rage......

.....and calms His child.

****

BETTER

go through the storm with Him.......

......

Than smooth waters without Him.

******

RING FINGERs and their never-ending story

2007-07-28T21:37:00.001-07:00

Ever wondered
why people wear their wedding bands on the left ring finger?

Wll, the Chinese believed that there is an explanation....and here is why.

Read On....

*****
The THUMB represents your/one's Parents.
The second~INDEX~finger represents your/one's Siblings.
The tall~MIDDLE~finger represents your/one-Self.
The fourth~RING~finger represents you/one's Life Partner.
The last~LITTLE~finger represents your/one's Children.

*****
NOW, here's the trick to know.....

*
First, open your palms, --face-to-face--
then slowly bend the middle fingers,
and hold them together back-to-back.

*
Then, open and hold the three remaining fingers
and thumb~tip-to-tip~
(as shown in the picture).
*
Now....
Try to separate your Thumbs (representing your Parents).
They will open because our Parents are not destined to be with us
our whole life long....
and have to leave us, sooner or later.
*
Now join your Thumbs as before
and try to separate your INDEX fingers
(representing Siblings).
They, too, will open, because your siblings
will eventually marry and have their own families,
and of course, lead their own lives.
*
NOW, join your Index fingers and
try and separate your Little fingers
(representing your Children)
They, too, will open because the Children will
eventually marry and leave the Nest someday.
*
Finally, join your Little Fingers and try this time,
to separate your Ring Fingers....
(representing your Spouse/Partner).
You will be surprised to see that
you just CANNOT do so!
......>>>>>>>
because Husband-and Wife were made to
be together~through thick and thin~
all the days of their lives!
*
Lastly,

I read somewhere that the veins on the LEFT ring finger
is directly connected to one's heart,
hence the choice of people long ago
to wear their wedding rings
on the left, becoz it's nearest the heart!
Romantic, isn't it?

*
But then,......
maybe, when I get married, I'd opt
to wear mine on my THUMB!
Both thumbs, if you please!

*

Know What HELLO Really Means?

2007-07-27T00:26:00.000-07:00

H- How are you?

E- Everything all right?

L- Like to hear from you!

L- Love to see you soon!

O- Obviously, I miss you!

H-E-L-L-O!

HEADACHE CURE?

2007-07-24T02:18:00.000-07:00

The doctor said: "OK, Joe, the good news is, I can cure your headache." The bad news is, it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to push into your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

***

Joe reluctantly agreed to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital, he was without a headache
for the first time in 20 years!

But he was depressed about losing his balls.
Maybe, he thought,.....
he'd kick the blues if he bought a new suit.

***

So he entered a clothing store and
the elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said,
"Let's see....size 44 long!"

Joe laughed. "That's right! How did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!"
the tailor said.

***

Joe tried the suit on. It fitted perfectly.

And so Joe agreed to buy a new shirt and underwear, too.

The salesman guessed his shirt size again
because "he's been in the business 60 years!"

***

Now....for the underwear....

The salesman said:
"Let's see.....size 36!"

Joe laughed: "Ah ha! I've got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old!"

***

The salesman shook his head:
"You can't wear a size 34!
A size 34 would press your testicles up against
the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

***
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Next time, ask for a second....
no, a third....
nope! a fourth opinion!

Oh what the heck?

He's got no more, doesn't he?

My New Pillow, Bow!

2007-07-21T15:30:00.000-07:00

I am one person who likes to be surrounded with pillows.
Maybe I find pillows such comfort!

And, yesterday,
I gifted myself with a new one

.... a cuddling pillow.

But I like the one with a vibrating sound,

similar to that of a moving train.....

one that really cuddles you to sleep.....
complete with a timer!

I saw one like that but the digits sure hurts!

Oh well,
I'd just comfort my time with this one
for the meantime....

GOODBYE LETTERS

2007-07-21T05:25:00.000-07:00

Dear Wife,

I am writing you this letter to tell you that I am leaving you for good.
I've been a good man to you for seven years, and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Then today, your boss called to tell me
that you had quit your job and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut,
cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new silk boxers. You came home
and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything.
Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is,
I'm gone.

Your Ex-Husband,

--------

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together.
Have a great life!
..........

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It's true that we have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry
from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your
constant whining and griping. Too bad, that doesn't work.

I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, and the first thing that came to my mind
was "You look just like a girl!" but my Mother raised me not to say anything if you
can't say anything nice.

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with
my SISTER because I have stopped eating pork seven years ago!

I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag
was still on them.

I prayed that it was a coincidence that my SISTER had just borrowed fifty dollars
from me that morning....and your silk boxers were $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you, and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the Lotto
for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets for Jamaica. But when I got
home, you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.

My lawyer said that with that letter you wrote, you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.

Signed,
Rich as hell...and Free!

-----------

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla, was born Carl.
I hope that's not a problem.

Philippine Fiesta at Yoyogi Park,Tokyo:Kabanata2

2007-07-17T03:33:00.001-07:00

Ito ang jogging area. Kinunan ko ng larawan ang mga kabataang galing sa TODAI [TOkyo University] sa kanilang jogging sa loob ng Yoyogi Park. Maganda ang lugar dahil sa lawak nito at sa mga punong naglalakihan doon.

Malinis na hangin at malamig kung tag-init.
Alaga rin ang kanyang mga facilities kaya masasabing
maayos at maganda.

Maulan nga lang noong araw na nandoon ako,
kaya medyo malabo ang mga larawan.

Center Stage. Habang nagsasayaw ang isang grupo ng mga dancers na nagpamalas ng kanilang galing sa Indak-Pinoy.

Isang hilera ng mga booths, Mga pagkaing Pinoy at serbisyong para sa Pinoy gaya ng telephone cards, PAL, Long Distance Call services, GMA, ABS=CBN TV, at Balikbayan boxes ang may mga outlet doon.

Meron din ang mga Ulam:Bopis, Ihaw-ihaw,
Lechong Paksiw, BBQ, Dinuguan, atbp. Ang dami ring kakanin: Pichi-pichi, Guinatan, Puto, Banana Q at kung anu-ano pa. Nakabili ako ng Pichi-pichi dahil medyo hindi ko ito magawa dito, dahil sa kakulangan ng mabibilihan ng niyog kung saan ako nakatira. Nadala ko pang pasalubong para kay Lolo ang Pichi-pichi.

Hindi nga lang makakakain kasi maulan at walang lugar na puwedeng kainan ng mga bisita. Karamihan ay nakatayo at hawak pa ang kani-kanilang payong! Mahirap para sa akin, dahil nga sa mga dala-dalahan ko. Mahirap namang ibaba at baka mabasa lahat. Hindi tuloy ako makakain kaya bumili na lang ako ng kakanin at sa bahay na lang ako kumain.

Hindi kasi ako puwede sa ganyang madaliang kainan, eh. Kailangan sa akin, nakapuwesto talaga.

Sana naman, sa susunod, isipin naman ng mga namamahala ang mga pangangailangan nang hindi parang bitin.

Isang araw lang ako sa Fiesta na ito. Maulan kasi, kaya naglibot na lang ako ng mga shops sa kalapit na Harajuku. Naglibot din ako sa Shinjuku at Shinagawa. Masarap sana kung may kasama ka. Masarap amglibot kung may kausap. Hindi mo mamamalayan ang paglalakad.

~oo00oo~

Philippine Fiesta at Yoyogi Park,Tokyo

2007-07-17T02:50:00.001-07:00

Malawak ang Yoyogi Park. Ginamit ito noong nag-host ng Olympics ng Bansang Japan noong 1964. Ginagamit rin ito bilang jogging area ng mga tao, dahil sa lawak at sa dami ng masisilungang mga puno na inaalagaan ng Metro Tokyo.

Gate ng Fiesta. Dalawa ang nakita kong ganito.
Ginanap ito nitong July 14-15,2007.

Booths na nakahilera sa isang bahagi ng Yoyogi Park. Ilan lang ito sa maraming booths na nandoon. Sayang nga lang at inulan. Kuha ito sa itaas ng pedestrian walk na nagkakabit sa Yoyogi Park galing sa jogging area at Fountains.

Silent Treatment, Anyone?

2007-07-16T02:36:00.000-07:00

A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.

*

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM
for an early morning business flight.
*

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),
he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM."

*
He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight.

*
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

*
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

*****

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

**
(I really liked this part, hehe!
women are masterpieces, indeed!)

**

*with apologies to some gentlemen who may be passing by......
*

How To Install Love

2007-07-10T18:56:00.000-07:00

Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love.
Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready.
What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart.
Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now.
Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running ?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem,
Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt
from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory
but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override
Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem.
However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment.
Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed.
Can you turn those off ?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness.
Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment
have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.
You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already.
It says, "Error - Program not run on external components."
What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up
to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart.
In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself
before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files:
Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory.
The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming.
Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and
empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files.
Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment
are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile,
but eventually everything gets it at the proper time.
So Love is installed and running.
One more thing before we hang up.
Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules
to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others
and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

Ha-Ha-Ha! Isa Pa!

2007-07-08T21:21:00.000-07:00

*****
Natawa ako rito:
Padala ng Isang NetFriend ko.
Payong Kapatid daw, ewan ko sa yo!
Bahala ka na nga sa buhay mo!
*****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before, hinahabol kita pero di mo ako pinapansin.
Tapos isang araw nawala ako, hinanap mo ako at
tinanong, "Bakit ka nagsawa?"
Ngumiti ako, "Hindi ako nagsawa. Natauhan lang."

Pwede mo kong lokohin pero
wag kang magpapahuli sakin. Pwede mo kong palitan
pero siguraduhin mong mas mahal mo siya kesa akin.
Pwede mo kong iwan pero siguraduhin mong kaya mo.
Kasi pag ako sobrang nasaktan,
wala ka nang babalikan.

Ang Boys? Pag trip ka, magpapakilala.
Kaibigan kuno hanggang pumorma na.
Tapos pag nahulog ka na,
ayun, goodbye na dahil sawa na sila.
Pero dapat walang iiyak at smile lang kayo.
nyets, anong silbi ng karma?

I fell in love and got hurt but I didn't shed too
much tears nor did I ask them to love me again.
Instead, I stood up proudly and said,
"Ganyan talaga ang maganda at guapo!
Hindi bagay sa t*nga!"

Simple lang para hindi ka masaktan.
Kapag minahal ka, mahalin mo din.
Kapag ginago ka, gaguhin mo rin.
Pero kapag umiyak ka, t*nga ka!
Ginago ka na nga, iiyakan mo pa?

Pag iniwan ka ng mahal mo, wag mo siyang sisihin!
Kausapin mo siya ng harap-harapan at sabihin mong,
"Ingat, t*nga ka pa naman!"

Masakit pag iniwan ka ng mahal mo.
Pero wag kang magagalit ng husto.
Kahit papano may pinagsamahan naman kayo, diba?
Kaya for the last time yakapin mo siya at
ibulong mo, "Ga-Go, kukulamin kita!"

Girls, talo daw kayo sa mga boys?
Papayag kayo?

Sige, pag niligawan kayo, sagot agad.

Pag iniwan kayo? Ok lang.

Kapag sinabi nilang, "Uy, ex ko."

Alam niyo sagot diyan? "Ay, ambisyoso."

If the one you love doesn't love you back,
don't get depressed.
Just think about it for a while, maybe cry
a bit then wipe your tears and say
"Ang weird naman niya.
Di siya pumapatol sa magaganda!"

You only got one life so live it well...
one heart so take good care,
one soul so keep it pure.
One boyfriend?
What a waste!
Make it two or more!
ngeek

Sayang ganda nyo! ha ha ha

Pag sinabi sayo ng mahal mo na ayaw na niya sayo,
hayaan mo lang. Wag kang iiyak at magpapakagago!
Imbis na iyakan mo siya, ngitian mo lang at sabihin mo
ang ganito, "So, pano? Bye na! Naghihintay na ang
kapalit mo!"

Who cares about break-ups?
Oo nga, masakit.
Makirot sa puso.
Pero tandaan mo: a break-up isn't only an end to a relationship.
It's also a beginning of a new one
and an end to a living hell called "ex".

H0-H0-H0!-Award-winning joke kuno:

2007-07-01T04:32:00.000-07:00

A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night
and he saw Steven Spielberg.

As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him,
and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says,
"You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor,
get outta here!!"

The astonished Chinese man replied,
"It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor,
it was the Japanese".

"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same,"
replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says,
"You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."

Shocked, Spielberg replies,
"It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."

The Chinese replies,
"Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

~~~~~~~~~~~oooo0000oooo~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ISTAYL NOY-PI -part 2, ayos, 'to!

2007-06-29T20:34:00.000-07:00

KULANG pa ba?
Sige na nga...eto pa ang dagdag,
to meyk yu ismayl.....

NITRATES
A Chemistry teacher asked a sexy student, "What are NITRATES?
The student replied shyly, "Ma'am, sa motel po.
NITRATES are higher than day rates!"

WHO'S GUILTY?
Wife dreaming in the middle of the night
suddenly shouts, "Quick, my husband is back!"
Man gets up, jumps out the window and realizes, "Damn! I am the
husband!"

Josh: Kumusta ang assignment?
Ricardo: Masama. Wala akong nasagutan. Blank paper ang ipinasa ko.
Josh: Naku, ako rin! Paano 'yan? Baka isipin
nila, nagkopyahan tayo?!

Toto: Pangarap ko, kumita ng P250,000 monthly gaya ni daddy!
Juvy: Wow! Ganyan kalaki ang kinikita ng daddy mo?
Toto: Hindi! 'Yan din ang pangarap niya!

Dok: May taning na ang buhay mo.
Juan: Wala na bang pag-asa? Ano po ba ang dapat kong gawin?
Dok: Mag-asawa ka na lang ng pangit at bungangera.
Juan: Bakit, gagaling po ba ako ru'n?
Dok: Hindi, pero mas gugustuhin mo pang mamatay kesa mabuhay!

Lito: Pare, ano ba ang kaibahan ng H2O sa CO2?
Joseph: Diyos ko naman! Di mo ba alam 'yun?!
Ang H2O ay water! At
ang CO2... cold water.

Gustong malaman ng magkaibigan kung may basketbolan sa langit.
Nagkasundo sila na kung sino ang unang mamatay ay babalik upang
sabihin kung may basketbol sa langit. Naunang namatay si Dado.
Isang gabi, may narinig na boses si Rodel na parang kay Dado.
"Ikaw ba 'yan, Dado?" usisa ni Rodel.
"Oo naman!" tugon ni Dado.
"Parang hindi totoo!" bulalas ni Rodel."O,ano, meron bang basketbol sa langit?"
Sagot ni Dado, "May maganda at masama akong balita sa 'yo.
Ang maganda, may basketbol doon. Ang masama...
kasali ka sa makakalaban namin bukas!" (ngek!)

Usapan ng dalawang bata...
Junjun: Magaling ang tatay ko! Alam mo, 'yang
Pacific Ocean, siyaang humukay nun!
Pedrito: Wala 'yan sa tatay ko! Alam mo ' yung Dead Sea ?
Junjun: Oo...
Pedrito: Siya ang pumatay nun!

Stewardess: Do you want a drink, sir?
Sir: What are my choices?
Stewardess: Yes or No.

Misis: Hindi ko na kaya 'to! Araw-araw nalang tayong nag-aaway
Mabuti pa, umalis na ako sa bahay na 'to!
Mister: Ako rin, sawang-sawa na! Away rito,away roon! Mabuti pa
siguro, sumama na ako sa 'yo!

Misis: Delayed ako nang one month pero huwag mo munang ipagsabi.Nahihiya ako...
Mister: Okey.
Kinabukasan, dumating ang taga-Meralco. ..
Taga-Meralco: Misis, delayed po kayo ng onemonth.
Misis: Ha? Bakit mo alam?
Taga-Meralco: Nasa record po.
Mister: Bakit Naka-record diyan na delayed ang misis ko?
Taga-Meralco: Kung gusto ninyong mawala sarecord, magbayad kayo!
Mister: Eh kung ayokong magbayad?
Taga-Meralco: Puputulan kayo!
Mister: Eh anong gagamitin ni misis?
Tag-Meralco: Pwede naman siyang gumamit ng kandila.

Advantage at disadvantage ng may-asawa...
ADVANTAGE: 'Pag kailangan mo, nandiyan agad.
DISADVANTAGE: 'Pag ayaw mo na, andiyan parin!

Sa isang classroom...
Titser: Class, what is ETHICS?
Pilo: Etiks are smaller than ducks.
Titser: Okey, that duck will lay an egg in your card.

Juan: Pare, noong mayaman pa kami, nagkakamay kaming kumain. Ngayong mahirap na kami, nakakutsara na.
Pedro: Baligtad yata?
Juan: Mahirap kamayin ang lugaw, pare!

Anak: Itay, nagpapatanong si ma'am kung ano
raw ang propesyon mo.
Itay: Sabihin mo, cardiologist.
Anak: Ano po ba ang cardiologist, Itay?
Itay: 'Yung tagaayos ng radio sa car!

Umuwi si mister nang 4:00 AM at nakita niya
ang kanyang misis na may
katalik na lalaki sakama...
Misis: (sumigaw) SAAN KA GALING?!
Mister: Sino 'yang katabi mo?
Misis: GRABE KA! HUWAG MONG IBAHIN ANG USAPAN!

Rodrigo: Bakit bad trip ka?
Harry: Nagtampo sa 'kin ang utol ko.
Rodrigo: Bakit naman?
Harry: Nakalimutan ko kasi ang birthday niya.
Rodrigo: 'Yun lang? Anong masama ru'n?
Harry: Ang masama ru'n... twins kami! Twins!

ISTAYL NOY-PI

2007-06-29T06:31:00.000-07:00

Pagod ka ba?
.....'Lika, Tawa Muna!

*****************************************

* Nakasulat sa pader:
"MARUNONG KA BANG TUMAHOL? ASO LANG ANG UMIIHI DITO!"

* along a highway in Pampanga:
"WE MAKE MODERN ANTIQUE FURNITURE"

* on a self-service restaurant in Cebu:
"PLEASE HELP OUR COMFORT ROOM CLEAN"

* in a Baguio grocery:
"FRESH FROZEN CHICKEN SOLD HERE"

* on a house beside an auto repair shop:
"NO PARKING AND REPAIR HERE"

* signs at PHILCOA:
"NO CROSSING PEDESTRIANS WILL BE APPREHENDED"

* in Baguio Country Club:
"TEMPORARY CLOSE"

* in Cubao:
"NONE ID NOTHING ENTRY"

* on a parking lot:
"TAXI AND OUTSIDE CAR NOT ALLOWED"

* office clinic in Sta. Cruz:
"DR. SAKIM A. MORGE. MD."

* along Luneta Boulevard:
"BAWAL TUMAE SA BULEVARD"

* on Jeepney and Bus signs:
"BEFORE PAY, TELL WHERE GET THE ON BEFORE GET THE OFF"

* on a Flower shop in Rizal Avenue:
"WE SELL ARTIFICIAL FRESH FLOWERS"

* on a delivery truck:
"NOT FOR HERE"

* on window of a restaurant in Baguio:
"WANTED: BOY WAITRESS"

* on a street in San Juan:

"BAWAL MAGTAPON NG BINALOT NA TAE RITO"

* A grafitti inside the cubicle of a ladies' C.R. in a
university:"PLEASE DON'T SIT LIKE A FROG, SIT LIKE A QUEEN."

* At a men's comfort room, above a urinal:
"HAWAK MO ANG KINABUKASAN NG BAYAN"

* On a truck's tail: "KUNG NABABASA MO 'TO, PAG-NAUTOT AKO MAAAMOY MO"

* at a construction site in Mandaluyong:
"BAWAL OMEHI DITO. ANG MAHOLI BOG-BOG"

* somewhere along San Andres:
"NO URINATING, ON THE OVER WALLS"

* vacant lot near makati ave.: "DON'T PARKING"

* at an eatery in Cebu:
"WE HAB SOPDRINK IN CAN AND IN BATOL!

and this is the best of them all!!

* on a building somewhere in the Philippines.....
"NOTARY PUBLIC TUMATANGGAP DIN NG LABADA KUNG LINGGO"

*Karatula sa may puno ng kapitbahay ko sa MetroManila:
"Kaya ako nagtanim, para makakain; Kung gusto n'yong kumain,
magtanim din kayo, mga P---ng I-- nyo!"
[OO nga ta tama siya, pero nawala ang class nya: crass pala siya!
Sa konting Papaya, nahulog ang pagka-guro niya!]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

:::ITO, ayoko sanang i-post, kaya lang totoong merong ganito,
kaya sige, basa lang!:::

* On a wall in Laloma street, a sign says
"HULI IHI, PUTOL TITI"

DI-EN

Dear Kuya

2007-06-27T06:21:00.000-07:00

Dear Kuya,

SUMMER is really here.

Just take a look:

*>The garden is turning red.
The SAKURAMBOs.....or Japanese Cherries,
that tastes sweeter and has this distinct flavor that we all love. Tastes better than the cherries in your midst, ei?

And LOOK at those Watermelons!
The CUBED ones are here again!
and my, oh my!.... they do cost a kingdom!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*>What's more, you're missing those Super Sweet Peter Corns!

And there are oodles of tomatoes, eggplants, and your favorite: cucumbers!
You loved munching them with miso, right?

So what are ya waitin for?

Come on down!

Depressed? Try eating bananas

2007-06-27T05:42:00.000-07:00

Among people suffering depression, many feel much better after eating a banana.

“This is because bananas contain a natural mood enhancer called tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts to serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier,” the Food and Nutrition Research Institute (FNRI) said yesterday.

Serotonin is known to make the body feel relaxed and improve one’s mood, preventing seasonal depression, the reports said.

The “Daily Nutritional Guide Pyramid for Filipino Adults,” developed by the FNRI, recommends two to three servings of fruits (1 serving = 1 medium size or 1 slice of big fruit) to meet the daily requirement.

This means two to three pieces of bananas a day, providing 20-30 grams of carbohydrates and 80-120 kilocalories, the FNRI said.

The Institute added that bananas such as saba, gloria and latundan contain 400 milligrams of potassium, making it a source of instant energy.

Like most fruits, banana contains no fat, sodium or cholesterol. A low fat balanced diet rich in fruits and vegetables may reduce the risk of heart disease and certain types of cancer.

Banana is also rich in vitamins A, C, K and B6, fiber, and magnesium. Lack of vitamin B6 in the diet can cause weakness, irritability, and insomia. Vitamin B6 regulates blood glucose level which can affect your mood, the FNRI added.

Vitamin K helps regulate blood pressure and may reduce the risks of high blood and stroke. It is also essential in helping muscles contract properly during exercise to reduce cramps. Banana contains plenty of carbohydrates, the body’s main source of energy.

The fruit can be a substitute for sweets to satisfy sugar craving, the FNRI said.

“The convenience and superb nutritional value of banana makes it a wonderful post-exercise snack to recharge the body.”

The FNRI also stressed that banana is good for babies as a first solid food because it has no fat, which makes it easy to digest, although some infants are allergic to the fruit. It also meets the energy needs of growing children.

Meanwhile, reports said many people found tryptophan to be a safe and reasonably effective sleep aid, probably due to its ability to increase brain levels of serotonin (a calming neurotransmitter when present in moderate levels) and/or melatonin (a sleep inducing hormone secreted by the pineal gland in response to darkness or low light levels).

“Clinical research tended to confirm tryptophan’s effectiveness as a natural sleep aid and for a growing variety of other conditions typically associated with low serotonin levels or activity in the brain,” the reports said.

The FNRI, an attached agency of the Department of Science and Technology, is the principal research arm of the government in food and nutrition.

[Thanks, E.* for this email.]

WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR BODY ...IF

2007-06-22T04:48:00.000-07:00

YOU STOP SMOKING RIGHT NOW??!

THINK!

~Click to enlarge,please.....

SUPERNOVA EXPLODES

2007-06-21T00:39:00.000-07:00

A massive exploding faraway star — the brightest supernova astronomers have ever seen — has scientists wondering if a similar celestial fireworks show may light up the sky much closer to Earth sometime soon.

The discovery, announced Monday by NASA, drew oohs and aahs for months from the handful of astronomers who peered through telescopes to see the fuzzy remnants of the spectacular explosion after it was first spotted last fall.

Using a variety of Earth and space telescopes, astronomers found a giant exploding star that they figure has shined about five times brighter than any of the hundreds of supernovae ever seen before, said discovery team leader Nathan Smith of the University of California at Berkeley. The discovery was first made last September by a graduate student in Texas.

"This one is way above anything else," Smith told The Associated Press. "It's really astonishing."

AWESOME!

2007-06-21T00:33:00.000-07:00

This image provided by NASA shows the atmosphere and a setting sun as seen from space by an Expedition 15 crewmember on the International Space Station June 3,2007

ON SLEEP, SLUMBER and REST

2007-06-12T19:58:00.000-07:00

Tadao Hori, a professor of psychophysiology at Hiroshima University, who is a leading expert on the science of sleep, shared his insights on questions such as "when is the best time to get up?" and other matters related to sleep and health in an interview by a leading Japanese broadsheet.

*A. Is getting up early really good for you?

In principle, it is. But it is not good if you have to cut your hours of sleep to get up early. Our bodies are designed to awaken with the sunrise. Our temperatures go down as the sun goes down, making us sleepy. Our body temperature hits its lowest at around 4 or 5 a.m. It is said that people feel best when they get up as their temperatures start rising.

B.*Recent studies have shown that a gene determines whether someone is a so-called lark or an owl.

The recent findings are very interesting, but scientists have yet to determine to what extent genes regulate human lives. In other words, genes are not everything that controls us.

C.*Is it true that getting up early makes us more creative?

You could say so if you combine various different factors. If you get up late and hurry to work without having breakfast, you have a foggy mind and you are short of energy. That would not make you more productive than getting up early and calmly preparing for work.

D.* Is there a scientific basis for the popular saying in Japan that sleeping from 10 p.m. through 2 a.m. makes your skin smooth?

Actually, that's more of a conventional wisdom than anything else, but it's true that human bodies start to need sleep from around 10 p.m., when their temperature starts decreasing. If you go to bed later than that, you will be awake that much longer and that is an added burden to your body. It is scientifically proven that, if you go to bed at 10 p.m., you are likely to get a deeper sleep. If you sleep well, your body will produce more growth hormones and your metabolism will improve, which would also help you to defy aging. But young people in general can sleep well even if they stay up late. It is people over the age of 35 whose skin starts to show the effects of an unhealthy lifestyle.

E.* Why do the elderly tend to sleep less? Why do many of them get up early?

It's not that older people enjoy being like that; they would rather sleep longer, but they are no longer able to do so. Sleeping for eight hours straight means the sleep-control system in the brain is also young. With older people, the ability to control sleep declines, and their sleep is more shallow. Likewise, they go to bed early because they are exhausted. Because it is demanding for them to stay awake for 16 hours, older people often become sleepy at around 8 p.m. and fall into sleep temporarily, but they wake up shortly afterward and then they have a hard time going back to sleep later in the night. So I recommend them to take a 20-minute or 30-minute nap during the day. Then they can regain their energy.

F.* What's the best way for people to get a deep sleep?

If you take a walk two or three hours before you go to bed, your temperature will rise by 1 degree or so. After that, as your temperature goes down, you should hit the bed, because you will sleep better that way. Old people, on the other hand, retain their temperature for a longer period, so if they take a brisk walk a couple of hours before that, say at 5 or 6 p.m., they will cool down at around 9 or 10 p.m. and feel more able to sleep.

G.* According to a 2005 report by market research firm A.C. Nielsen, 41 percent of Japanese people manage six hours or less sleep per night, making them the most sleep-deprived nationality in the world. Why do you think that is?

What we know is that Japanese people often stay up for no particular reason; the times they start work haven't changed much over the years. They come home and idle their time away and then they don't feel like going to bed until past midnight. Then they get up at 6 or 7 a.m., so they sleep for only about six hours.

H.* You think this is not a good trend?

We think not. Almost everyone we interview says, ideally, they would rather sleep at least one or two more hours. Also, many people try to "tank sleep" on weekends by sleeping longer. They tend to think that, because they have slept longer on the weekend, they can sleep less the following week. But they are wrong. If you sleep longer on the weekend, it means you are paying back for your deprived sleep the week before.

I.* What's the basis of the idea that we should sleep for eight hours a night?

There is none. But if you look at how much people sleep around the world, you will realize that they sleep an average of a bit more than eight hours. People whose answers are negative to such questions as "Do you feel you are not sleeping enough?" and "Do you wish you slept more?" mostly sleep for eight hours. There is a group of people categorically called "short sleepers" who are fit and happy with less than six hours of sleep per day, but they make up less than 10 percent of the entire population.

J.* So does the amount of sleep required vary from person to person?

Yes it does. Some people become neurotic if they don't feel they have slept enough — saying they are only sleeping 7 1/2 hours, not eight hours. They feel they must sleep for eight hours exactly. But that's not how it works.

K.* We say we feel refreshed when we breathe in the morning air. Why is that?

Morning air is cooler, so that might be one reason why we feel refreshed. We don't know if the air is really cleaner in the morning, or if we are actually breathing in more dust because it has come down and settled during the night. But morning sunlight contains more blue and green light, which is known to make people feel awake. And the morning light sets your biorhythms. If you open the window of your room in the morning and let the outside air in, instead of breathing indoor air that you have breathed out, you will feel better. In addition, as the sun comes up its light gets more intense, so you will find it too glaring to be comfortable.

Plus, if you wake up feeling good and look out the window, everything will appear beautiful. It might be a psychological effect, but it's actually very important.

L.* Why does eating a big breakfast make you less fat than eating a big dinner?

Because you don't move much after dinner. You should eat at least three hours before you go to sleep, because the bowel movements stop when you are sleeping and the food would sit heavy on your stomach. Even if you eat more than three hours before your bedtime, your body will try to store the consumed calories as fat because you don't need to burn them during the night.

In the morning, by contrast, you need a lot of energy, because you have been fasting for the previous eight hours or so, and your brain — which is the first thing that needs energy in the morning — needs sugar.

M.* What should people have for breakfast?

Fruit sugar and honey are good because they give energy to the brain. But that doesn't mean you should have candies for breakfast. You also need fat and protein as sources of your energy. The traditional Japanese breakfast — consisting of rice, miso soup and fried fish — is also good because it allows you to take in a lot of calories.

*************************************************************************************

HEALTHY TIPS*: #4

2007-06-04T03:45:00.000-07:00

....31. RED vegetables and fruits are good for the heart and the brain.

....32. YELLOW vegetables and fruits are good for digestion. Be careful when choosing. Cabbage and Bananas are good, but beware of pesticides.

....33. LOW Blood Pressure is OK as long as the individual feels fine and healthy.

....34. Having PIMPLES may mean that the toxins in the blood cannot be purged out.

....35. EXERCISE is preferably done in the morning, as there are lots of Oxygen from the trees and plants. Nighttime is not advisable because of Carbon Dioxide that abounds. Afternoon is too hot. AFTER 40 years old, try to do light exercises like long-distance walking and not to do heavy exercises.

....36. Having HEADACHES may mean weak pump of blood/energy from the heart shows lack of Oxygen.

....37. Black under the eyes may mean LIVER and KIDNEY are weak.

....38. For ARTHRITIS problem, eat fruits/food high in Vitamin C, and DETOXify.

....39. People with BREAST and UTERINE cancer must not eat sea cucumber or salty food.

....40. High-water content fruits are easier to digest.

....41. EXERCISE is good for the heart.

....42. USE AS FEW as possible: electrical appliances and household items in your homes. In the long term, they can cause radiation exposure and ruin your health, especially your Television set, radio, huge sound system.

*Don't place them in your bedroom, otherwise, you might find difficulty in sleeping, thus feeling very tired in the morning.
*Also, try not to watch too much TV or surf the internet [computer] especially the children, otherwise, in the long run, radiation from the TV and the computer might cause memory loss and retard intelligence.
*Too much exposure to light in your homes [overhead] might also be damaging to your body especially when you have not been very fit or healthy in your lifestyle.

....43. IF you want to take a bigger step to a truly healthier lifestyle,
****USE ONLY Stainless, CERAMIC (WITHOUT LEAD) GLASS for your cooking.
Aluminum material will give you DEMENTIA.
****Get rid of your non-stick pans and cooking materials since the coating will eventually fade into your food, which can cause poisoning.
****USE only water to cook your food lightly.Overcooking your food will cause it to lose most, if not all of its nutrients.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>*******<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

HEALTHY TIPS*: #3

2007-06-04T03:10:00.000-07:00

...21. Gastric problem is also associated with ingesting too much meat and high fat food.

...22. HEART & UTERUS are linked together. Drinking 3000cc.-4000cc. of good filtered water with a healthy DETOXification diet will keep them healthy, too.

...23. There is no need to go for unnecessary check-ups, X-rays, CT scans [radiation is 5x...6x higher] are bad for the body since it kills thousands of cells and thus, weaken the body even further. Cancers and diseases are sometimes quite hard to detect in your yearly heath check-ups or blood tests. By the time they are detected, that part of the body has already been quite damaged. Always get a second opinion from another doctor before proceeding witht he recommended surgery. If it is LIVER disease, medication will destroy it further. Go on a proper DETOXification diet and sleep by 9PM daily will help the LIVER to recover faster.

...24. Vegetables and fruits high in Vitamin C will help DETOXify the poisons in the body, thus helping the organs to recover during the detoxification. Drinking lots of water will help the LIVER because URINE is one way of detoxification.

...25. Morning hours netween 5 AM-7AM is the best time for bowel movement, otherwise, the intestines might absorb the poisons from the digested matter to be distributed to the rest of the body, thus, slow poisoning of the body will occur. This will result in the body getting sick.

...26. Using KELP powder mixed in water can help stop itchy scalp.

...27. STONES in gall-bladder, liver, brain are usually poisons accumulated from animal protein and oily food.

...28. MINERALS- calcium, iron strengthen the kidney/bladder.

...29. A person having mild LIVER or kidney problems can eat fish and beans....ONLY after 4 months of DETOXification diet.

...30. If the white of the eyes of a person is yellow, it only means he has a LIVER and GALL BLADDER problem.

........................................******.................................

MORE HEALTHY TIPS*#2

2007-06-04T02:34:00.000-07:00

******************************

11. SLEEPing late for children is unhealthy. It weakens memory and intelligence.

12. Best healthy time to sleep is 9PM especially for people who are sick or are recovering from it.Do not sleep later than 11 PM. Lots of rest is good for the LIVER to recover. When using eye-cover during bedtime, use only pure cotton. Never use latex/rubber materials.

13. A DETOXification DIET helps the LIVER & INTESTINES to recover fast.Natural fresh food are best for the LIVER and overall well-being. Do not rely on packed, bottled, or canned health food/vitamins since they lack lots of natural and essential vitamins which can be derived from pure, unprocessed, natural food.

14. A balance of mental/emotional state of mind is very important to the total well-being. Too much stress of all kinds, loud noises, music, anger, irritation suppressed too long, pessimism, depressive moods, no goals in life, feeling life has no value, or blaming the world or everyone else for his life will further weaken the body system. When the LIVER is unhealthy, the person has bad temper and gets easily angry or irritated.

15．Giving out gas, and perspiration，and urine are ways of purging out the toxins from the body. Do not use too much air-conditioners because these suppress the body from perspiring. This natural way of purging helps reduce the load of the LIVER. Open the window for fresh air.

16. Giving warmth to any part of the body that is in pain will ease it. Or try soaking in a warm bath up to waist level. Be careful if you have heart problems. Do not soak till the chest areas lest the heart might get too stimulated.

17. Brown rice, wheat, oats, potatoes, sweet potatoes, yams and maize are all good, but we must be careful when buying these because they contain lots of pesticides. Maize and Brown rice contain B complex Vitamins. Organic food are better alternatives but may prove a bit costly.

18. Blood A type has higher chances of CANCER diseases.

19. Blood O type has higher chances of LIVER diseases.

20. WOMEN live longer because they are more even-tempered due to their menstruation cycle which expels the anger inside. It is better not to talk when a person is feeling angry. Breathe very slowly and .....

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>smile!

HEALTHY TIPS*: LIVER

2007-06-04T02:05:00.000-07:00

1. LUNGS and BIG INTESTINES share the system. If one is sick or infected, the other will also be sick/infected.

2.When the LIVER is in pain, there is not much signs or symptoms to be detected. Before many cancers happen, usually the LIVER will be the frist to get sick.

3.LIVER filters out the poisons and it attacks all the viruses in the body.

4. 99% of Chinese have weak LIVERS because they eat a lot of meat and high, fatty food.

5.The LIVER's repair time is effective from 11 PM-to-3 AM. Therefore, sleeping late after 11 PM and having late supper [of high cholesterol and fatty food] two hours before sleeping weakens the LIVER because it does not have enough time to rest and regenerate. Even when one replaces that sleep later in the morning will not help.

6.If you get hungry just before bedtime, eat fruits and vegetables which is easy to digest. Meat takes about four hours to digest before it goes to the intestines. Meat cooked in oil takes about 12 hours before going into the intestines. This will provoke the Liver and the Digestive Tract to overwork in filtering the toxins thus, you will tend to feel tired when you wake up in the morning.

7.OIL is the main culprit that will weaken the functions of the LIVER and damage it. Medication cannot cure LIVER problem and will damage it even further.

8.Cold-pressed Olive Oil, carrots, cucmber, raw chili, garlic, onion, little bamboo [shoots], sea-salt, raddish, pumpkin, small fish are good for the body. Sesame Oil is OK.

9.Food Preservatives, Food Colorings, Bee-hoon is processed with Aluminum (causes Dementia), Bleach, syrup, pesticides are all bad for LIVER health. Wrong medication can shrink and damage the LIVER badly. Radiation from the Microwave destroys all the nutrients in the food.

10. Western medication is bad for the LIVER. Chinese medication is bad for the kidney. White raddish will disable the effects of Chinese medication.

******

*TIPS courtesy of Emil*

GIRLFRIENDS

2007-05-29T22:39:00.000-07:00

A YOUNG WIFE
sat on a sofa on hot, humid day,
drinkng iced tea, and visiting her mother.
As they talked about love, about marriage and
the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood,
the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully,
and turned a clear, sober glance at her daughter.

"DON'T FORGET your girlfriends," she advised,
swirling the tea leaves from the bottom of her glass.
"They'll be more important as you get older.
No matter how much you love your husband,
no matter how much you love the children you will have,
you are still going to need girlfriends.

REMEMBER TO go places with them. now and then;
do things with them. And remember that "girlfriends"
are not only your friends, but your sisters, your daughters,
and other relatives, too. You'll need other women, too.
Women always do."

`WHAT A funny piece of advise,' the young woman thought.
`Haven't I just gotten married?.....
Haven't I just joined the 'couple-world?'
I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake!
A grown-up! Not a young girl who needs girlfriends!
Surely, my husband and the family we'll start will
be all I need to make my ife worthwhile.

BUT SHE listened to her Mother;
She kept contact with her girlfriends
and made more each year.

AS THE years tumbled by, one after another,
she gradually came to understand that her Mom
really knew what she was talking about.

AS TIME and nature work their changes and mysteries
upon a woman, girlfriends are mainstays of her life.

I ASKED Moms all over and
here are the things they told me about Girlfriends:

Girlfriends bring you Chicken Curry when you need help.

Girlfriends keep your children and keep your secrets.

Girlfriends give advice when you ask for it. Sometimes you take it, sometimes, you don't!

Girlfriends don't always tell you, you're right, but they're usually honest.

Girlfriends still love you, even when they don't agree with your choices.

Girlfriends laugh with you and you don't need canned jokes just to start the laughter.

Girlfriends pull you out of jams!

Girlfriends help you get out of bad relationships.

Girlfriends help you look for a new apartment, help you pack, and help you move.

Girlfriends will give a party for your son or daughter.

Girlfriends are there for you, in an instant, when hard times come.

Girlfriends listen you lose a job or a friend.

Girlfriends listen when your children break your heart.

Girlfriends listen when you parents' minds and body fail.

Girlfriends support you when the men in your life fail you down.

Girlfriends help you pick up the pieces when men pack up and go.

Girlfriends rejoice at what makes you happy, cries at what saddens you,
and are ready to go out and kill at what makes you unhappy.

******
*
TIME passes.
*
LIFE happens.
*
DISTANCE separates.
*
CHILDREN grow up.
*
LOVE waxes and wanes.
*
HEARTS break.
*
CAREERS end.
*
JOBS come and go.
*
PARENTS die.
*
COLLEAGUES forget favours.
*
MEN don't call when they say they will.
*
BUT.....
*
GIRLFRIENDS are there.....no matter how much time

and how many miles are between you.
*
A Girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach!

******
*****
****
***
**
*

A-HE-HE!

2007-05-29T00:51:00.000-07:00

******

Bisita: "Tatang, naiinom ho ba ang tubig dito?"
Tatang: "Nasa sa iyo yan, Anak. Bakit, gusto mong nguyain?"

******

Sa isang Mall:

Mommy: "Anak, hwag kang bibitaw sa palda ko, para hindi ka mawala."
Anak: "Opo!"

Makalipas ang 2 oras:

Mommy: "Mmang sikyo, may nakita ba kayong bata na may dalang palda?"

******

Namatay ang isang mister na babaero.
Sa Requiem Mass, sabi ng Pari, patungkol sa namatay:

"An honest, good man, a loving husband, and a great father...."
ad infintum....
Binulungan ng biyuda ang panganay na anak:
"Pakisilip nga ang kabaong kung Daddy mo ang nasa loob!"

******

Ayon sa Banal na Aklat,
Kapitulo Kuwatro Kantos,
Beriskulo Emperador hanggang Red Horse:
"Ang taong hindi sumunod sa tamang daan.....

.........lasing!"

******

Pinagsabihan ng Doktor ang Tabatsoy na pasyente ng ganito:
"Mula ngayon, ang puwede mo lang kainin eh
mga hayop na lumalangoy!"

Pagkalipas ng isang linggo, tinawagan ng Doktor ang pasyente.
Ang tsimay ang sumagot sa telepono.
Inusisa ng doktor kung nasaan ang pasyente.
Sagot ng tsimay:
"Nasa swimming pool po; tinuturuang lumangoy ang baboy!"

******

Usapan ng dalawang baliw:
Baliw#1: "Kanina pa nakadapo sa iyo ang lamok, bakit hindi mo patayin?"
Baliw#2: Hinihintay kong mabusog, saka ko hahabulin, para magka-appendicitis!"

******

Misis: "Ngayong hiwalay na tayo, kukunin ko na ang mga bata. Mahal na mahal ko sila!"
Mister: "Sige, bahala ka!...Pero iiwan mo ang yaya nila. Mahal na mahal ko siya!"

******

Ma'am: "Inday, buti na lang, bumaba ang water bill natin."
Inday: "Opo, kasi, sumsabay na pong maligo si Sir sa akin.
Pinapatay na rin niya ang ilaw `pag tumatabi siya sa akin
para bumaba rin daw ang kuryente."

******

Ma'am: "Inday, pumunta kas a botika. Ibili mo si Sir ng Viagra, 100mg.
Inday: "Sa iyo gagamitin ni Sir, ano Ma'am?"
Ma'am: "Bakit mo nasabi yan?"
Inday: "Pag sa akin kasi, ang iniinom ni Sir, Extra Joss lang!"

******

Inday: "Ma'am, magpapaalam na po ako. Uuwi na po ako sa probinsiya."
Ma'am: "Nagpaalam ka na ba sa Sir mo?"
Inday: "Nauna na po siya. Doon na raw po kami magkikita."

******

USAPAN ng Dalawang mayabang:

Tomas: "Ang galing ng aso ko! Tuwing umaga, dala nya ang diyaryo sa akin!"
Diego: "Alam ko."
Tomas: "Ha!? Paano mo nalaman?"
Diego: "Ikinukuwento sa akin ng aso ko."

******
Boy Meets Girl

Girl: "If we get married, stop smoking!"
Boy: "Okay."
Girl: "Drinking, too!"
Boy: "Okay."
Girl: "And going to the club at night."
Boy: "Yes."
Girl: "What else can you stop?"
Boy: "The idea of marrying you!"

******

Jinggoy: "Dad, hindi kita madadalaw ngayon. May urine test ako bukas."
Erap: "Okey lang, anak. Mag-aral kang mabuti, ha?"

******

Ahe-he!
Ye-ye-ye-yeh!
*
*

TOMATO

2007-05-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

I like Tomatoes.
I use it almost every day for my usual Salad,
for making sauce and even my unusual Tomato Jam.
People all over the world have made use of
Tomatoes as well in more ways
than one can imagine.

Here is an interesting story about Tomatoes
and how it changed a man's life.

*****

A jobless man applied for a position as 'Office Boy' at Microsoft.
The HR Manager interviewed him and watched him clean the floor as part
of the test. "You are employed, " he said. "Give me your email address and I'll send you
the application form to fill in, as well as the date when you may start."

The man replied,
"But I don't have an email, much less a Computer."

"I am sorry," said the HR Manager.
"If you don't have an email address means
you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have a job."

The man left with no hope at all.
He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket.
He then decided to go to the Supermarket and bought a
10-kg. Tomato Crate. He then sold the Tomatoes
in a door-to-door round.
In less than two hours, he was able to double his capital.

He repeated the opeartion three times, and went home with $60.

The man realized that he can survive via this way,
and started to go everyday earlier, and return late.
Thus, his money doubled, even tripled every day.

Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck,
and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

Five years later, the man has become one
of the biggest food retailers in the U.S.
He started to plan his family's future
and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker and chose
a protection plan. When the conversation
was concluded, the broker asked him his email addy.

The man replied, "I don't have an email."

The broker answered curiously,
"You don't have an email,
and yet you have succeeded to build an empire.
Can you imagine what you could have been
if you had an email?!!"

The man thought for a while and replied,
"Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!"

******
*****

MORAL of the Story:

M1: Internet is NOT the solution to your life!
M2: If you don't have internet, and work hard, you, too, can be a Millionaire!
M3: If you are reading these via the internet, then you are closer to being an office boy/girl....than being a Millionaire!

>>>>>>

...AND PLEASE.....
do not bother to reply, nor ask me anything.....
because I am mulling on closing my internet connections

and go sell Tomatoes, instead!

Cheers!

*

GOLDEN WEEK

2007-04-29T03:46:00.000-07:00

The EXODUS has begun:

People leave the city to go back to their hometown and some, those who have planned their trips since last year, have booked to a place of their dream. For some, this is a great time for bonding with their own family; some couples spirit away to the beach: Hawaii, Phuket, or anywhere else they consider Paradise. Still others prefer to go travelling alone to a quiet place where they can relax.

But for me who have experienced those long queues at airport check-in counters, I prefer the solitude and quiet of this place I now call my second-home!

I have no idea why this week is called Golden: I don't see anything 'gold' in this, anyway. But any rest day is sure welcome in the fast-paced Land of the Rising Sun.

What I know is that April 30 is SHOWA Day. It is the birthday of Emperor Hirohito, called Emperor Showa [ his reign is also called Showa]. The current Emperor -Akihito's [Hirohito's first son-] reign is called Heisei.

Then May 4 is Children's Day: a day for kids, sons, mostly. This is the time when big carps flags are festooned on bamboo poles in front of one's abode. It flies high and mighty as a symbol and to tell others in the neighborhood that there is an heir that resides in that house. Still male-dominated, ei?

With all these holidays celebrated one after the other, perhaps the Government deemed it right to grant Holidays in bulk. However, not all Companies go on Holiday. Some are open on May 1 & 2 . Transport Companies, likewise have their skeleton force on call. Of course, department stores make brisk business during these days. Almost all troop to stores for food, or just fancy shopping!

Almost all schools have been off since yesterday. Kids are seen everywhere: playing in parks, trouping the department stores, especially the teens whose giggly voices are heard in every nook.

And I have enough time to watch the movies......

on the tube!

******
*****
****
***
**
*

LIFE

2007-04-14T18:46:00.000-07:00

ONE DAY

a woman's husband died.
And on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom,
the wife was strruck with the pain on learning that sometimes,
there isn't anymore....

No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate,
no more phone calls, just to chat....
no more "just one minute!"

Sometimes, what we care about the most
gets all used up and goes away,
never to return before we can say "Goodbye"
or say..."I Love You".....

So while we have it,
it's best we Love It,
Care for It,
Fix It when it's broken,
and
Heal It when It's sick.....

THIS
is true for marriage
and old cars,
and children with bad report cards
and dogs with bad hips
and aging parents and grandparents.

WE KEEP THEM
because they are worth it.

Some THINGS we keep.....
like an old friend who has moved away
or a classmate we grew up with.
There are just some things that make us happy,
no matter what.

LIFE
is important...
lik people we know who are special.
And so....we keep them close!

SOMETIMES,
we need to say what we feel.

Suppose one morning you never wake up....
do all your Love Ones, Friends included
KNOW you LOVE them?

I was thinking.....
I could die today....or tomorrow, or next week!
And I wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed....
friendships that needed rekindling
or three words needing to be said.

LET
every one of your LoveOnes/Friends know
You LOVE them.
Even if you think that they don't love you back....
you would be amazed
at what those three little words and a smile can do.

AND
just in case, God calls me HOME...

I wanna say:

I LOVE YOU, guys!!

****

LIVE TODAY TO THE FULLEST.
TOMORROW IS NOT PROMISED!

CHOICES, Choices!

2007-04-14T18:16:00.000-07:00

A MAN
wanted to get married.
He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates.
He gives each woman a present of $ 5,000 each and watch
what they do with the money.

****
THE FIRST
does a total make over.
She goes to a fancy beauty salon,
gets her hair done, new make up,
and buys several new outfits
and dresses up very nicely for the man.
She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him
because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed!

****

THE SECOND
goes shopping to buy the man gifts.
She gets him a new set of Golf clubs,
some new gizmos for his computer
and some expensive clothes.
As she presents these gifts, she tells him
that she has spent all the money on him
becasue she loves him so much.

AGAIN, the man was impressed!

****

THE THIRD
invests the money in a stock market.
She earns several times the $5,000.
She gives him back the $5,000 and reinvests
the remainder in a joint account.
She tells him that she wants to save for their future
because she loves him so much!

OBVIOUSLY, the man was impressed!

****

THE MAN
thought for a long time what each woman had done
with the money he had given her.....

THEN
he married the one with
the biggest boobs!

MEN
are like that, you know!

There is
more money spent
on Breast Implants and Viagra today
than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2040,
there should be more elderly population
with perky boobs and huge erections
............
and absolutely no recollections
with what to do with them!

Think....

.........I can only .....

LAUGH!

Hee-Haw!

****

LINDOL

2007-03-26T02:44:00.001-07:00

I
was surfing the net last Sunday
when I felt dizzy.....
I looked around and saw the overhead circular hanging light swaying.
Another earthquake, I mumbled.
I glanced at the TV set which was on
[I always do that, listen to whatever is said on TV
becoz I want to retain as many words as I can remember]
and saw 9:43.

ALL the while I thought it was gonna stop.
But no...it continued.
The IRORI's [Japanese style hearth]
hanging iron clamp was swaying to and fro!
Geez! This must be big, I said to myself!

By that time, I wasn't feeling well....
I felt nauseated....

I stood and looked out of the window.
That was a mistake. I felt nauseated all the more.
So I went back to my chair and sat.

Soon after, news and updates have flashed on the screen.
The center was somewhere in the sea beside Noto Peninsula,
in Ishikawa-Ken. Magnitude was placed at 6.9,
considered a major one.

Living in Japan has its risks.
And the greatest one is the fact that Japan
is one of the most earthquake-prone countries in the world.
It lies on four tectonic plates.
Hence, earthquakes are as common as waking up each morning
and seeing the Sun.

Knowing this, the Japanese as a people
has been preparing for earthquakes all their lives.
The SDF are efficient and response to disasters are
done in no time.

But then again,
I wanna go home where my heart lies.....

I have had enough of earthquakes to last me a lifetime.
I wish to wake up in the Land where
I could relax and not be worried when the next earthquake
would be. I know Inang Bayan have had its share of earthquakes
but not this often.....
Here, we suffer jolts as many as thousands in a day!

Babalik na ako sa Pilipinas!!!!!!

((((((((((((((((((((****))))))))))))))))))

KOMEDYA

2007-03-23T01:58:00.000-07:00

Mahilig talaga itong si gloria magsalita nang palpak!
Ewan ko kung totoong nag-graduate sa Georgetown U. ito!
Parang wala sa kalibre, eh!
Parang nag-iinarte lang ang buwayang ito!
Typical gloria: orocan!

*****

A couple of days ago, she reacted to the survey about hunger.
She clamed that she, too, skipped a meal in the past three weeks.

Once only in a span of three weeks?

How about the lesser mortals who go hungry everyday?

How insensitive, considering most Pinoys
do not even have money to buy a decent meal a day.

Added to that,
IT IS OUR MONEY she gobbles!
TAX natin yun!

*****

While surfing various blogs I visit,
I saw this one comment which smacked right into bullseye:

Anna de Brux said:
"She could do with skipping a meal every day
for the simple reason that her big fat behind is such a flabby blob
so missing a meal would do wonders for her sagging ass."

Tawa ko lang!
Sapul!

I couldn't agree more!
Mama PanDoc has grown big
having eaten the blood, sweat and tears of
OFWs and all those who have to make TIIS
everyday just to survive.

Mama PanDoc's statements
have been made into a butt of jokes
everywhere, I was informed.
Well, that....
is typical Pinoy's reaction
to whatever malaise that comes our way.

*****

Several days ago, the target was Satur Ocampo.
He, who was forcibly [bodily] carried to a private heli
to face arrest warrat in Leyte.....
a case that was said to have resolved years ago.
Then in mid-air, they were told to come back to Manila.

So, what happened?
It turned out that the judge in Leyte agreed
to have Satur detained in Manila.

Trip ng mga bandido ni gloria na busalan ang bibig ng oposisyon,
but look what happened.
Satur must have had a hell of an experience
[while on the flight, baka nga naman ma-Mijares siya, noh!]
but he gained publicity points and brought his entire
Party-List group, Bayan Muna, with him!
Gratis, courtesy of the CTs [Certified Tutas].
Satur and his group must be grinning from ear-to-ear these days!

KOMEDYA ang nangyayari sa Bayan.
Komedya rin ang ginagawa ng mga nangsunggab ng poder!
Halos lahat ng ginagawa sa ngayon ay palabas lamang!
......and those who feel for Inang Bayan aren't laughing!
This malady must go and go ASAP!
Hindi ka na nakakatawa!

EDUCATING ARROYO

2007-03-21T22:24:00.000-07:00

The other day, gloria told the poor:
"Spend on the basics, not on luxuries!"
She was reacting, of course, to the SWS results which showed that
a big 19% of the populace remains hungry.
She was quoted as saying that
instead of spending on cellphone loads,
the poor should buy the basic needs first.

****
"The height of insensitivity!"
says the well-respected and hard-hitting journalist, Ellen T. says.....
I wholeheartedly agree.

I find arroyo's statement absurd.
Saan ba siya naroroon at hindi niya napupulsuhan ang Taumbayan?

Ahhh.....OO nga pala!
Nasa "Palasyo" nga pala siya at hindi niya alam ang
nangyayari sa bawa't barung-barong sa may riles ng tren
at sa may tabing ilog!

Has it ever occurred to Arroyo HOW the common tao survive ?

Statements like that reveals a callous and hard heart,
if ever she has a heart.
I have never heard of a public official that callous and insensitive!

Wala na ngang makain, tapos,
papayuhan mo pa na gamitin sa basics ang pera!
Wala na ngang pera, magsasalita ka pa ng ganun?
Wala na ngang trabaho, tapos, ganyan ang palusot mo?

Nakapunta ka na ba sa tabing riles at
napagmasdan mo na ba ang nakaburol na bangkay doon?
Aalog-alog ito, kada daan ng karag-karag na tren?
Nakapunta ka na ba sa Tambakan at nalugmok sa
tigmak na dumi at hindi maalis-alis na baho ng basura
na kahit na ilang ligo ang gawin mo,
parang nandun pa rin, at umaalingasaw?

Dali, gloria....Puntahan mo.......
nang malaman mo ang TUNAY na
SAD STATE OF THE NATION!

*****
As the daughter of a past President of the Republic,
she has wallowed in luxury, although her father
was once dubbed "The Poor Boy from Lubao"....

Where and how his Father amassed wealth enough to
buy their way to the enclaves of the rich
is clear to all and sundry.
They just have to dig deeper,
way back to the Stonehill era and lo!

The same can be said of Arroyo and her husband today.
They may claim to belong to the old rich,
but then again, coem to think of it,
why enter politics, if they ARE really that rich?

Will someone from arroyo's [robber] band of [B]advisers educate gloria
how an ordinary TAO exist and survive?

ASAP!

Better still, vacate Malacanang and go to
where you belong!
sannamagan!
*

TIME WAITS FOR NO ONE!

2007-03-21T05:46:00.000-07:00

To realize the value of a sister, ask one who doesn't have one!

To realize the value of ten years, ask a newly-divorced couple.

To realize the value of four years, ask a graduate.

To realize the value of a year, ask a student who failed a final exam.

To realize the value of nine months, ask a mother who gave birth to a still-born.

To realize the value of one month,ask a mother who has given birth

to a premature baby.

To realize the value of one week, ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of one hour, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.

To realize the value of one minute,ask a person who has missed

the train, bus or plane.

To realize the value of one second, ask a person who has survived an accident.

To realize the value of one milli-second, ask a person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.

*****
*****
*****

TIME WAITS FOR NO ONE!

TREASURE every moment you have!

YOu can treasure it even more
when you can share it with someone special.

TO realize the value of a friend,
LOSE ONE!

*****

TIME OUT!..... TAWA MUNA....

2007-03-21T05:05:00.000-07:00

LITTLE JOHNNY AT HIS BEST

Teacher: "Why are you late?"
Lil John: "Because of the sign."
Teacher: "What sign?"
Lil John: "The one that says "School Ahead, Go Slow.""

*****

Teacher: "Why are you doing your math sums on the floor?"
Lil John: "Because you told me to do it without using tables."

*****

Teacher: "What is the chemical formula for water?"
Lil John: "HIJKLMO!"
Teacher: "What are you talking about?"
Lil John: "Yesterday you said it was H to O!"

*****

Teacher: "George, go to the map and find North America."
George:: "Here it is!"
Teacher: "Good! .....Now Johnny, who discovered America?"
Lil John: "George!"

*****

Teacher: "Johnny, name one important thing we have today
that we didn't have ten years ago."
Lil John: "Me!"

*****

Teacher: "Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
Lil John: "I ....is ......."
Teacher: "No, Johnny, always say: " I AM....""
Lil John: "All right. I am the ninth letter of the Alphabet."

*****

Teacher: "Can anybody give me an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Lil John: "Sir, my mother and my father got married on the same time,

the same date, the same place!"

*****

Teacher: "Not only did George Washington chopped down his Father's Cherry Tree,
he also admitted doing it. Now, do you know why his Father didn't punish him?"
Lil John: "Because George still had the axe in his hand."

*****

Teacher: "Johnny, your composition on "My Dog" was exactly the same as your brother's.
Did you copy his?"
Lil John: "No, Teacher. It's the same dog!"

*****

Lil John: "Dad, can you write in the dark?
Father:: "I think so. What do you want me to write?
Lil John: "Your name on this report card."

*****

Wala lang.....
am bored!

ELEKSYON NA NAMAN!

2007-03-20T01:40:00.000-07:00

Tune: Pasko Na Naman!

****

Eleksyon na naman!
O kay tulin ng araw...
Eleksyong nagdaan,
hindi pa naresolbahan!
Kayong botante ang syang nagoyo na naman
Na-garci, na-abalos yaong ating bilangan!
*
Refrain:2x

Boto! Boto!
Boto ay na-madyik na
Listahang totoo,
inareglo na namin, Ma'am!
****

Balimbing dito, doble-cara syang tunay
Kakampi mo n oon, tila ba nabayaran.
Sayaw nga noon,
erap shake, rattle and roll,
Ngayon ay TUta,
ilang milyon ba'ng pramis sa'yo, Tsong?
*
Repeat Refrain 2x

What's in a Name?

2007-03-19T23:46:00.000-07:00

I was away for sometime
and I had some catching up to do....

BUT what caught my eyes are the entries in an affidavit
by a certain Celia
who revealed that
the perst pig referred to gloria
as "IGOROTA".....

compared to calling her [Celia]
as "FAVORITA".....
*
Well, celia may be the flavor of the month[or was it years?]
at that time, but the label "igorota" is another feather
[although littered and mish-mashed!]
to gloria's cap!
*
Si gloria langa yata ang may napakaraming
codename to date....
Let me count the names....

glue [para kasing pandikit sa pagkakahawak sa puwesto]
Tiyanak= kasi super liit pero kung makaasta, kaya ang lahat!
power-grabber=I think alam nyo na ang ibig sabihin, noh?
Pandak-becoz of her low stature, in ways more than one.
PanDoc-after Papa Doc, that tyrant who ruled with iron hands,tas, pandak pa, so there!
Igorota-

The last leaves a bad taste in the mouth,
simply because it mentions the IGOROTAs,
most of whom are law-abiding citizens of this nation.
*
There are more, I guess....
more names and codes given to gloria,
something I may not be aware of....
*
In a true democracy, taxpayers can say whatever they want to say
against any elected official of the Land.
Not so in Pilipinas....
hence,
people have resorted to name-calling to vent their anger
against the powers-that-be.
*
Some cool head want to stop this,
but more want to stop the root cause of it all:
gloria herself!
*
I say:
THAT, would be the day!
...and I hope it would be sooner,
rather than later!
*

ALL ABOUT POWER

2007-03-19T23:30:00.000-07:00

0r is it
ABUSE OF POWER?
*
Satur Ocampo has again grabbed headlines,
not because he orchestrated something and asked media
to cover it, but because
Mama PanDoc has again connived with her counsels
to bring Satur Ocampo to Leyte, albeit forcibly,
and face the music there.
*
I am not interested in Ocampo's subversive connections
but the way the case was handled have made me stop and look
at the issues at hand.
*
It appears that Ocampo was willing to face the courts and
was, in fact, in the Supreme Court the day he was arrested
for killings made under marcos' regime.
How many years ago was that?
Twenty-or so years!
*
Some say that the case has been resolved and
that Ocampo was never the culprit.....
I don't know.
*
What pains me is the way the handlers of the warrant served them.
The police escorts forcibly, bodily carried Ocampo to the waiting vehicle
that would transport them to the Airport.
*
Geez!
ABUSO na ito, hah!?
Meron pa bang ganitong kalakaran?
Akala ko ba demokrasya ang Pilipinas?
Nag-martial law na ba?
Kelan ideneklara?
Grabe!
*
Some an hour and a half into the flight,
the privater Cessna that transported
Ocampo along with his wife
made a U-turn and flew back to Manila.
Apparently, the judge agreed to Ocampo being detained
in the Manila Police HQs pending the Supreme Court appeal.
*
Yun naman pala, eh!
Hindi naman tatakbo anga tao,
ano ba ang kinatatakot ng rehimeng ito?
*
A long time ago,
my parents taught me:
"Guilty conscience needs no accuser."
True!
Lalo na kung may konsiyensiya nga ang naturingang
gumagawa ng kapalpakan sa Bayang Sawi.
Paano sa mga garapal na nagpapanggap na
lider ng Bansang Sinilangan?
*
Lahat ng bagay sa mundo
napaparam....
Kung may lungkot, mayroon ding
kaligayahan....
*
Sana nga, sana!
Para sa Bayang Sinisinta!
******

WHY WOMEN CRY

2007-03-17T20:08:00.000-07:00

*****

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?"
"Because I am a woman," she told him.
*
"I don't understand," he said.
His mother just hugged him and said,
"And you never will."
*
Later, the boy asked his Father,
"Why does Mother seem to cry for no reason?"
*
"All women cry for no reason,"
was all his dad could say.
*
The little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.
*
Finally, he put in a call to God.
When God got on the phone, he asked,
"God, why do women cry so easily?"
*
God said:
"When I made the woman, she had to be special.
I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,
yet gentle enough to give comfort.
*
I gave her inner strength to endure childbirth
and the rejections that many times comes from her children.
*
I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going
when everyone else gives up,
and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue
without complaining.
*
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children
under any and all circumstances,
even when her child has hurt her very badly.
*
I gave her the strength to carry her husband through his faults,
and fashioned her from his ribs to protect his heart.
*
I gave her wisdom to know
that a good husband never hurts his wife,
but sometimes tests her strengths and
her resolve to stand beside him
unfalteringly.
*
And finally,
I gave her a tear to shed.
This is hers exclusively to use
whenever it is needed."
*
"You see, my son," said God,

"the beauty of a woman
is not in the clothes she wears,

the figure that she carries,

or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman

must be seen in her eyes,

because that is

the doorway to her heart-

the place where love resides."

*****

BLOOM WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED!

2007-03-16T03:59:00.000-07:00

I remember writing about this in the past.
I have also discussed this among young people in a forum-guide
re: choosing their vocations in life.
Allow me, then, to write about it, since I find it timely
in the midst of all this election fever.

*****

There was a young duck who felt that he was better than his siblings.
In a way, he was....he was really good at everything he does.
He learned how to swim faster than his brood.
He learned everything quickly, and excelled in many areas.
Soon, he found himself bored with life.
He wanted to try something more daring,
something unusual for a little Duck like him.

One day he asked Father Duck to teach him how to fly.
He saw some birds flying so well, he, too,
wanted to do the same.
He wanted to soar into the sky and show his fellow Ducklings
that he is a special Duck.

He was insitent that his Father relented and allowed him to go to a flying school,
with the condition that he never give up his swimming.
After all, Ducks are known the whole world over as best swimmers.
He promised to do as his Father willed,
and so off he went to the Flying School.

True to form, he was good.
Soon, he learned to fly and how!
He flew far and wide.
He learned many tricks.
He can do the somersault and the zoom and
many other side tricks.

Everyone was impressed.
But Father Duck was worried.
He must remind his Child Duck not to delve much into flying.
He must never forget how to swim.
But the young Duck was so full of himself.
He was so confident of his newly-gained skills.
He continued to fly until he was recognized as an expert flyer.

One time, a storm came and everyone was asked to evacuate and leave.
They have to swim their way to safety.
The storm was already brewing and there was no other way but the river.
Soon all were swimming along with the other Duck Families.
But the young Duck was afraid to wade in the water.
He has otally forgotten how to swim!

All those months he practised how to fly,
and became an expert flyer.....
But today, he was in trouble:
He cannot swim!
He simply forgot the basic way to swim!

*****

Lesson:
IF you are a Duck,
SWIM, for God's sake!
Don't fly!
*****

Do not aspire to be what you are not!
*****

Be contented with your lot and
BLOOM WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED!

*****

Kung artista ka,
gawin mo ang alam mong trabaho.
Umarte ka na lang,
kesa naman magbutas ka ng silya gaya
ng ginawa na ng nauna sa iyo!
*****
Kung boksingero ka,
mag-boksing ka na lang, Dong....
baka wala kang alam sa paggawa ng Batas!
******

A Friendly reminder
for those running
and do not know what to think!

*****

Election Fever

2007-03-16T03:35:00.000-07:00

Been wonderin lately.....
Election is around the corner and the campaign is gearing
towards its peak.

I have been to Inang Bayan and saw the boob tube.
It is littered with ads that carry the "good works" and "good intentions"
not to mention those "pangarap" of candidates vying for the Senate.
Someone became an instant "'tol" to all!
How farcical and plastic can one be?

Come to think of it, ....can't help but wonder:
This people must be spending oodles of moolah for those ads alone.
How about the flyers and posters and all those sorties?
Geez!

WHERE in the world did they get those?
Granting that they have been sooo blessed with a silver spoon
by birth, sayang pa rin!

What if they use those moolah to buy medicines for the poor?
Or build some decent housing for the urban poor,
instead of living along the riles?

Ahhh!
But that would be wistful thinking, eh?

Familiar tunes have erupted and made into jingles.
One that caught my attention was the song:

Boom Korap, Korap!

Boom Korap, Korap!

Tararat! Tararat!

Kurakot!

I remember singing that during Boy Scouts Training in Makiling.
Now some group have claimed it is theirs!

Corruption may be the issue
but corruption of the highest level is being committed unabated
by the alipores of the power-grabber who continue to sit by the Pasig.

I just hope and pray that the Filipino VOTER
learn from past experience. I hope they give the forces of evil
a piece of their own medicine!

Well, what else can I say?

Just
VOTE WISELY!

........
.......and PRAY that OUR votes be counted.
We do not want another "Hello, garci!" to happen now, do we?

****

Travelling, anyone?

2007-03-15T16:57:00.000-07:00

I like travelling.
It makes me learn things I wouldn't find in any book,
or lecture, for that matter.
It opens my mind and makes me feel the history of a place
by going through its streets, buildings and park.
Looking at the place, one can determine how each building endured history
and the way people has made their lives revolve around their own place.

Travelling also allows me to see the people and the way history has helped them through the years. It makes me appreciate more my own native Land and its wonders.

I may travel through Life, but I will always go back to where I belong: that one place I can always call my own.

HEART STATION

2007-03-15T05:15:00.000-07:00

Hello World!

This is HEART STATION signing on.

This blog will carry my thoughts, dreams and
all there is that catches my attention as I travel
Life's highways.

Please be with me as I travel this world
full of surprises, sweat and tears.....