Saturday, July 28, 2007

RING FINGERs and their never-ending story


Ever wondered
why people wear their wedding bands on the left ring finger?

Wll, the Chinese believed that there is an explanation....and here is why.

Read On....

*****
The THUMB represents your/one's Parents.
The second~INDEX~finger represents your/one's Siblings.
The tall~MIDDLE~finger represents your/one-Self.
The fourth~RING~finger represents you/one's Life Partner.
The last~LITTLE~finger represents your/one's Children.

*****
NOW, here's the trick to know.....

*
First, open your palms, --face-to-face--
then slowly bend the middle fingers,
and hold them together back-to-back.

*
Then, open and hold the three remaining fingers
and thumb~tip-to-tip~
(as shown in the picture).
*
Now....
Try to separate your Thumbs (representing your Parents).
They will open because our Parents are not destined to be with us
our whole life long....
and have to leave us, sooner or later.
*
Now join your Thumbs as before
and try to separate your INDEX fingers
(representing Siblings).
They, too, will open, because your siblings
will eventually marry and have their own families,
and of course, lead their own lives.
*
NOW, join your Index fingers and
try and separate your Little fingers
(representing your Children)
They, too, will open because the Children will
eventually marry and leave the Nest someday.
*
Finally, join your Little Fingers and try this time,
to separate your Ring Fingers....
(representing your Spouse/Partner).
You will be surprised to see that
you just CANNOT do so!
......>>>>>>>
because Husband-and Wife were made to
be together~through thick and thin~
all the days of their lives!
*
Lastly,

I read somewhere that the veins on the LEFT ring finger
is directly connected to one's heart,
hence the choice of people long ago
to wear their wedding rings
on the left, becoz it's nearest the heart!
Romantic, isn't it?

*
But then,......
maybe, when I get married, I'd opt
to wear mine on my THUMB!
Both thumbs, if you please!

*





Friday, July 27, 2007

Know What HELLO Really Means?


H- How are you?

E- Everything all right?

L- Like to hear from you!

L- Love to see you soon!

O- Obviously, I miss you!

H-E-L-L-O!




Tuesday, July 24, 2007

HEADACHE CURE?


The doctor said: "OK, Joe, the good news is, I can cure your headache." The bad news is, it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to push into your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

***

Joe reluctantly agreed to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital, he was without a headache
for the first time in 20 years!

But he was depressed about losing his balls.
Maybe, he thought,.....
he'd kick the blues if he bought a new suit.

***

So he entered a clothing store and
the elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said,
"Let's see....size 44 long!"

Joe laughed. "That's right! How did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!"
the tailor said.

***

Joe tried the suit on. It fitted perfectly.

And so Joe agreed to buy a new shirt and underwear, too.

The salesman guessed his shirt size again
because "he's been in the business 60 years!"

***

Now....for the underwear....

The salesman said:
"Let's see.....size 36!"

Joe laughed: "Ah ha! I've got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old!"

***

The salesman shook his head:
"You can't wear a size 34!
A size 34 would press your testicles up
against
the base of your spine and
give you one hell of a headache."

***
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Next time, ask for a second....
no, a third....
nope! a fourth opinion!

Oh what the heck?

He's got no more, doesn't he?





Saturday, July 21, 2007

My New Pillow, Bow!



I am one person who likes to be surrounded with pillows.
Maybe I find pillows such comfort!

And, yesterday,
I gifted myself with a new one

.... a cuddling pillow.

But I like the one with a vibrating sound,
similar to that of a moving train.....
one that really cuddles you to sleep.....
complete with a timer!
I saw one like that but the digits sure hurts!

Oh well,
I'd just comfort my time with this one
for the meantime....




GOODBYE LETTERS

Dear Wife,



I am writing you this letter to tell you that I am leaving you for good.
I've been a good man to you for seven years, and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Then today, your boss called to tell me
that you had quit your job and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut,
cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new silk boxers. You came home
and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything.
Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is,
I'm gone.



Your Ex-Husband,

--------


P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together.
Have a great life!
..........



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Ex-Husband,



Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It's true that we have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry
from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your
constant whining and griping. Too bad, that doesn't work.

I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, and the first thing that came to my mind
was "You look just like a girl!" but my Mother raised me not to say anything if you
can't say anything nice.

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with
my SISTER because I have stopped eating pork seven years ago!

I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag
was still on them.

I prayed that it was a coincidence that my SISTER had just borrowed fifty dollars
from me that morning....and your silk boxers were $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you, and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the Lotto
for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets for Jamaica. But when I got
home, you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.

My lawyer said that with that letter you wrote, you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.

Signed,
Rich as hell...and Free!

-----------


P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla, was born Carl.
I hope that's not a problem.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Philippine Fiesta at Yoyogi Park,Tokyo:Kabanata2

Ito ang jogging area. Kinunan ko ng larawan ang mga kabataang galing sa TODAI [TOkyo University] sa kanilang jogging sa loob ng Yoyogi Park. Maganda ang lugar dahil sa lawak nito at sa mga punong naglalakihan doon.

Malinis na hangin at malamig kung tag-init.
Alaga rin ang kanyang mga facilities kaya masasabing
maayos at maganda.

Maulan nga lang noong araw na nandoon ako,
kaya medyo malabo ang mga larawan.






Center Stage. Habang nagsasayaw ang isang grupo ng mga dancers na nagpamalas ng kanilang galing sa Indak-Pinoy.



Isang hilera ng mga booths, Mga pagkaing Pinoy at serbisyong para sa Pinoy gaya ng telephone cards, PAL, Long Distance Call services, GMA, ABS=CBN TV, at Balikbayan boxes ang may mga outlet doon.



Meron din ang mga Ulam:Bopis, Ihaw-ihaw,
Lechong Paksiw, BBQ, Dinuguan, atbp. Ang dami ring kakanin: Pichi-pichi, Guinatan, Puto, Banana Q at kung anu-ano pa. Nakabili ako ng Pichi-pichi dahil medyo hindi ko ito magawa dito, dahil sa kakulangan ng mabibilihan ng niyog kung saan ako nakatira. Nadala ko pang pasalubong para kay Lolo ang Pichi-pichi.

Hindi nga lang makakakain kasi maulan at walang lugar na puwedeng kainan ng mga bisita. Karamihan ay nakatayo at hawak pa ang kani-kanilang payong! Mahirap para sa akin, dahil nga sa mga dala-dalahan ko. Mahirap namang ibaba at baka mabasa lahat. Hindi tuloy ako makakain kaya bumili na lang ako ng kakanin at sa bahay na lang ako kumain.

Hindi kasi ako puwede sa ganyang madaliang kainan, eh. Kailangan sa akin, nakapuwesto talaga.


Sana naman, sa susunod, isipin naman ng mga namamahala ang mga pangangailangan nang hindi parang bitin.

Isang araw lang ako sa Fiesta na ito. Maulan kasi, kaya naglibot na lang ako ng mga shops sa kalapit na Harajuku. Naglibot din ako sa Shinjuku at Shinagawa. Masarap sana kung may kasama ka. Masarap amglibot kung may kausap. Hindi mo mamamalayan ang paglalakad.

~oo00oo~

Philippine Fiesta at Yoyogi Park,Tokyo

Malawak ang Yoyogi Park. Ginamit ito noong nag-host ng Olympics ng Bansang Japan noong 1964. Ginagamit rin ito bilang jogging area ng mga tao, dahil sa lawak at sa dami ng masisilungang mga puno na inaalagaan ng Metro Tokyo.





Gate ng Fiesta. Dalawa ang nakita kong ganito.
Ginanap ito nitong July 14-15,2007.



Booths na nakahilera sa isang bahagi ng Yoyogi Park. Ilan lang ito sa maraming booths na nandoon. Sayang nga lang at inulan. Kuha ito sa itaas ng pedestrian walk na nagkakabit sa Yoyogi Park galing sa jogging area at Fountains.







Monday, July 16, 2007

Silent Treatment, Anyone?


A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and
were giving each other the silent treatment.

*

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM
for an early morning business flight.
*

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),
he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM."

*
He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight.


*
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

*
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

*****

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

**
(I really liked this part, hehe!
women are masterpieces, indeed!)

**

*with apologies to some gentlemen who may be passing by......

*

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

How To Install Love



Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?


Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love.
Can you guide me through the process?


Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?


Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready.
What do I do first?


Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart.
Have you located your Heart?


Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now.
Is it okay to install Love while they are running?


Tech Support: What programs are running ?


Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem,
Grudge and Resentment running right now.



Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt
from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory
but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override
Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem.
However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment.
Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed.
Can you turn those off ?



Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?



Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness.
Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment
have been completely erased.



Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?



Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.
You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.



Customer: Oops! I have an error message already.
It says, "Error - Program not run on external components."
What should I do?


Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up
to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart.
In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself
before you can Love others.


Customer: So, what should I do?



Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files:
Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.



Customer: Okay, done.



Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory.
The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming.
Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and
empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.



Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files.
Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment
are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?



Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile,
but eventually everything gets it at the proper time.
So Love is installed and running.
One more thing before we hang up.
Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules
to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others
and return some cool modules back to you.



Customer: Thank you, God.

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Ha-Ha-Ha! Isa Pa!



*****
Natawa ako rito:
Padala ng Isang NetFriend ko.
Payong Kapatid daw, ewan ko sa yo!
Bahala ka na nga sa buhay mo!
*****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Before, hinahabol kita pero di mo ako pinapansin.
Tapos isang araw nawala ako, hinanap mo ako at
tinanong, "Bakit ka nagsawa?"
Ngumiti ako, "Hindi ako nagsawa. Natauhan lang."

Pwede mo kong lokohin pero
wag kang magpapahuli sakin. Pwede mo kong palitan
pero siguraduhin mong mas mahal mo siya kesa akin.
Pwede mo kong iwan pero siguraduhin mong kaya mo.
Kasi pag ako sobrang nasaktan,
wala ka nang babalikan.


Ang Boys? Pag trip ka, magpapakilala.
Kaibigan kuno hanggang pumorma na.
Tapos pag nahulog ka na,
ayun, goodbye na dahil sawa na sila.
Pero dapat walang iiyak at smile lang kayo.
nyets, anong silbi ng karma?

I fell in love and got hurt but I didn't shed too
much tears nor did I ask them to love me again.
Instead, I stood up proudly and said,
"Ganyan talaga ang maganda at guapo!
Hindi bagay sa t*nga!"

Simple lang para hindi ka masaktan.
Kapag minahal ka, mahalin mo din.
Kapag ginago ka, gaguhin mo rin.
Pero kapag umiyak ka, t*nga ka!
Ginago ka na nga, iiyakan mo pa?

Pag iniwan ka ng mahal mo, wag mo siyang sisihin!
Kausapin mo siya ng harap-harapan at sabihin mong,
"Ingat, t*nga ka pa naman!"

Masakit pag iniwan ka ng mahal mo.
Pero wag kang magagalit ng husto.
Kahit papano may pinagsamahan naman kayo, diba?
Kaya for the last time yakapin mo siya at
ibulong mo, "Ga-Go, kukulamin kita!"

Girls, talo daw kayo sa mga boys?
Papayag kayo?

Sige, pag niligawan kayo, sagot agad.

Pag iniwan kayo? Ok lang.

Kapag sinabi nilang, "Uy, ex ko."

Alam niyo sagot diyan? "Ay, ambisyoso."

If the one you love doesn't love you back,
don't get depressed.
Just think about it for a while, maybe cry
a bit then wipe your tears and say
"Ang weird naman niya.
Di siya pumapatol sa magaganda!"

You only got one life so live it well...
one heart so take good care,
one soul so keep it pure.
One boyfriend?
What a waste!
Make it two or more!
ngeek

Sayang ganda nyo! ha ha ha

Pag sinabi sayo ng mahal mo na ayaw na niya sayo,
hayaan mo lang. Wag kang iiyak at magpapakagago!
Imbis na iyakan mo siya, ngitian mo lang at sabihin mo
ang ganito, "So, pano? Bye na! Naghihintay na ang
kapalit mo!"

Who cares about break-ups?
Oo nga, masakit.
Makirot sa puso.
Pero tandaan mo: a break-up isn't only an end to a relationship.
It's also a beginning of a new one
and an end to a living hell called "ex".





Sunday, July 1, 2007

H0-H0-H0!-Award-winning joke kuno:


A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night
and he saw Steven Spielberg.

As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him,
and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says,
"You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor,
get outta here!!"


The astonished Chinese man replied,
"It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor,
it was the Japanese".


"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same,"
replied Spielberg.


In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says,
"You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."


Shocked, Spielberg replies,
"It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."


The Chinese replies,
"Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."



~~~~~~~~~~~oooo0000oooo~~~~~~~~~~~~~